Pass Me My Wine

Makedaversary and Good-Bye

2010-05-20T21:38:00.000-07:00

It was two years ago today that my daughter was placed in my arms and my life changed forever. I didn’t start this blog until after I received my referral, and it was intended to be as much a way of keeping in touch with all the wonderful people I’d met along the way, as it was about celebrating my daughter and our life together. So today I celebrate our two years together and say good-bye to this, my blog. I think the only blogs I comment on anymore are the ones where I’ve now met the authors face-to-face, and I know we’ll be in touch for years to come. But it will be by email, and in-person. Perhaps if I am ever able to overcome the fits and starts of adoption #2, I’ll blog again to honour that equally special child, but in the meantime, I hereby revert to lurking.

Thanks for the ride guys,

xox

A View of Current Circumstances in Ethiopian Adoptions

2010-05-11T09:31:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of chatter about the (not so) recent change to adoption processes in the Oromia region of Ethiopia, which have resulted in relinquished children being unavailable for adoption. We also know that certain orphanages in that region have been required to close. I've seen speculation that the relinquishment ban relates to concerns over whether kids were relinquished in an ethical manner. I've read rumours that the closures resulted from findings of unethical behaviour, or were politically motivated, or were due to lack of humanitarian efforts by those that were closed. I've seen hopes expressed that after the election this May 23rd, the relinquishment ban may be lifted.

As a concerned adoptive and prospective adoptive parent, the substance of many of these allegations concerned me. So, I used what few contacts I had within the country to gain a better understanding of what was going on, and some clarity as to whether the relinquishment ban is to be lifted in the near future, or at all. The individual I heard back from is well connected, but is not with MOWA. I don't profess his views on the matter to be definitive. He/she had no comments or insights on whether or when the relinquishment ban might be lifted. However, the comments in general were insightful, so I thought I would share some of them.

Apparently, some 12 orphanages in the Oromia region have been closed, and the closures are not politically motivated. These orphanages were closed as a matter of efficiency or because they were operating below the standards set for them by the government. Other orphanages in that region who continue to meet the standards as set, are being allowed to continue their work in the usual manner. Almaz orphanage, which used to be used by Imagine Adoption, is one of the ones that was closed, and the children from that orphanage are to be transferred to Selam orphanage, which is one of the orphanages currently used by Imagine. Assuming it is correct that the closures were not politically motivated, I don't think we can assume with any confidence that the relinquishment ban will be lifted after the upcoming election.

Apparently the orphanages ordered to be closed were not advised of what legal or other requirements they have not been meeting, that would warrant the closure. At this time, it appears that despite instructions to do so, the children in the closed orphanages have not been transferred. The situation remains inconclusive. There is an appeal process for the closed orphanages, which I understand are being utilized. I don't know the standards for winning an appeal, or the timing, at this point.

I also found out something interesting as it relates to the new requirement to travel for Court. As we have been told, the reason for the requirement for families to attend Court is so that they can see their referred child in person, prior to the adoption being finalized. However, I've never known the real reason why this was implemented, other than a general allegation that one or more families had refused to take custody of their adopted child, upon arrival in Ethiopia. What I have been told today is that this change was implemented due to one adoption agency's mistake in Ethiopia (the agency is not mentioned ) whereby a family (not Canadian) came to pick-up their child but found that the child was not the child they had been referred. As a result, the family refused to accept the child. It is apparently this incident that caused the Courts to issue the requirement that families must travel twice.

Now, I do not profess any of this to be the absolute final matter on any of the issues raised. But I do not believe these are simply unsubstantiated rumours, either. Put whatever weight on them that you choose.

Back in the Day, I was a Cool Mom

2010-05-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

Now I'm just a mom. Poop.

You've gone to a better place Italian StudMuffin.

Yah, I got the price I was holding out for. Pfft. Still got all my gear. A girl can dream.

I Climbed the Great Wall of China

2010-05-03T21:21:00.000-07:00

So, life's been a bit crazy since arriving home (some time ago) and it's been impossible to sit down and digest my trip or blog about it (or read anyone's elses blogs for that matter). Then last night for the first time I had a chance to flip through a photography book on the Great Wall that we bought at Tian'anmen Square, and noticed that page 1 contained a certificate with the heading "I Climbed the Great Wall of China", with space for your name and the date. So, I hereby declare that, me, Makeda, Gramma and Grampa climbed the Great Wall of China (at Badaling) on April 5, 2010. To be exact, we all climbed up. Then a certain 2 year old got carried the rest of the way as we all slid down. I'm not joking. I'm not sure exactly how defenders were able to stave off attackers on most parts of the wall, as the stones are smoothly paved in the form of a slide. A railing has been attached to the inside wall so you can shimmy down, but basically, on a snowy winter day, you could take your Crazy Carpet and whoosh to the bottom. Then you'd die. But it might be a fun way to go. I suppose we could have been spared some of this pain, but as soon as we got to the entrance, I took one look up at the highest parapet and said "I'm going thataway", and we were off, without giving much thought as to how one got back. Anyway, here are the photos from the bottom (way in the background is the high point that we climbed to), the view from the top, and the evidence that We Were Here.

Later we stopped by Spirit Way at the Ming tombs which is guarded by greater than life size statues of animals (both real and imaginary version) and officials. This is a Makeda size lion.

I didn't think it could get any better than the Great Wall. But it did. Soon we were off to Xi'an to see the excavation site of the Terracotta Warriors. None of them survived intact, and apparently it will take about a 100 years for all of the shattered figures to be pieced back together. But the best preserved have been restored and they are breathtaking, even without their original paint. These are a few of the best. I've also included Mr. Yan, the farmer who discovered them. He is a Chinese national hero. He is also my personal hero for being the only illiterate farmer I'm aware of who is able to carefully autograph the hundreds of souvenir photo books put out for sale before the gates open each morning. Lastly, Makeda wheeling her spiffy new luggage at the Xi'an airport.

Well, that's the most blogging I've done in a month, so I'll save Shanghai, Guilin and Hongkong for another post. But first, a few more random pics from this most awesome journey:

Widget, Ruff and Tessie were photos 1, 2 and 3 so we could say "hi" to them in the camera when we missed them in China:

Family shot in Tian'anmen Square:

Flaked out in a Beijing silk factory:

Grampa helping guard the Ming tombs:

Bon Voyage

2010-03-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Makeda and I are taking a little journey together, so I'll be offline for awhile. To China in fact. Beijing, Shanghai, X'ian and then Guilin, followed by Hongkong where I have some business to attend to. Yup, me and a two year old...on a plane...together... for 11 hours. But, I'm no fool. This is a project for not one, not two, but THREE adults. Yes, Gramma and Grampa are coming along. Aren't I lucky? We've travelled together before, so it's quite safe. Except they will have 3 weeks 24/7 exposure to my parenting skills, or lack thereof. Judgements may be passed. Hmmm, maybe this wasn't such a good idea afterall. Oh hell, they've known me for 41 years - they know how useless I am. Three adults to one small child. That is a ratio I can travel with.

To keep things simple, Makeda sat through her first professional braiding session. It's supposed to last 3 weeks, but I'm not so sure...Please join me in prayer that the cheap travel dvd player I bought lasts out the trip...

What's New and Exciting

2010-03-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

So, I've been gone for awhile, working my east across the country. I started out Wednesday in Calgary where I met dear Biset for the first time. This is my favourite shot (I'm pointing out mama Haze which caused all sorts of teary-eyed excitement).

I also like this shot. But for a different reason. I don't have a lot of talents in life, but this is my main one, captured for infinity by Haze, and I think some of you can learn from it. Just tear yourself away from the cuteness that is Biset and check out the safety technique that I am illustrating - how to keep an iron grip on an unsteady child and a full glass of wine, while tipping neither. Perfection.

It takes years, people, years. Don't beat yourself up if you can't get it right away.

So, let's see. Then I went to Toronto, and then I went to Waterloo to partake in the "Celebration of Hope" festivities, a.k.a. a fundraiser for our back-from-the-dead agency. No pics, but a lovely time was had by all.

I got back late this afternoon (Sunday), zipped over to Aliyah's birthday party where my precious babe was waiting for me (Tessie looked after her for the weekend for me, including getting her to the big party), yakked with the Ethio posse for an hour and then zoomed both of us over for a quick pop-in to Auntie Suze's birthday dinner before heading home to bed.

I'd like to say that after all that it's going to be a quiet week, but nope - more on that later.

It's Report Card Time!

2010-03-17T20:37:00.000-07:00

Normally, I'm not much up for doing reports. This is the first of Makeda's annual update reports to MOWA that I have done on my own. I thought it would be a necessary inconvenience, but I actually enjoyed doing it. It made me reflect on all the progress she's made over the past year, and gave me (another) excuse to do a photo op. I made copies of everything for her lifebook, and extra copies of the photos for her birthmom, who, I am told, is thrilled to receive them. Here are this years' photos:

Will It Never Stop?

2010-03-15T11:36:00.001-07:00

Well, it looks (again) like adoption #2 is on indefinite hold. Ethiopia has implemented (another) rule change which now prohibits adoptions of relinquished children in certain areas of the country. As luck would have it, three out of four of my agency's orphanages are located in these restricted regions, and the vast majority of those children are relinquished by family members, not abandoned. Now that's not to say the new rule won't be reversed. Last year a similar (but opposite) restriction was put in place such that abandoned children were not available for adoption, and that only lasted a couple of months. Last week, a determination was made that parents would have to attend their prospective child's court date, but then that was yanked for further consideration and will likely not be implemented immediately. So there is a track record, so to speak, of rapid policy implementations and reversals.

But this latest is a doozy. Referrals have literally been frozen for the past 6 weeks. If the rule change is not reversed, then of course my agency must either find and fund new orphanages in regions unaffected by the change, shut its doors, or continue to process referrals at a snails pace. The other possibility is that miraculously, a flood of newly abandoned infants will be dropped off at our orphanages. This will benefit no one. Many of us enjoy ongoing relationships with our children's birth families. We send and receive pictures, and updates. This is good for our children and good for birth families who choose to remain in contact with us. Apparently, soon, none of us may have a choice.

Belated Olympic Glory

2010-03-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

Are We Done Yet?

2010-02-27T21:23:00.000-08:00

The Olympics have been an absolute blast, but it's time for everyone to go home now. I'm exhausted. And fat. I've never eaten so many street vendor hotdogs in such a short period of time. I was voted "best mixed meat" at one event after an accounting of everything I'd chowed down on over the course of 3 hours.

I saw way more stuff than I had planned to. Unused tickets fell into my lap, which was fabulous for me, and helped make sure there were few empty seats at the arenas. Kudos to everyone who gave away/horsetraded tickets that they couldn't use. Notwithstanding I came into the Olympics with tickets to only the women's gold medal hockey game, I ended up attending two medal ceremonies, including our first gold, Alex Bilodeau, the men's long program ice skating final, the ice dancing finals where Canada won gold, and of course, the women's ice hockey gold medal game. So I came as close to a lot of gold as I'm ever going to. Here we are at the women's gold medal game. It was an amazing game and amazing crowd:

But here's my Olympic highlight (and that includes the men's gold medal hockey, which I will blessedly be viewing from the comfort of my own home tomorrow):

On the right, the man who needs no introduction, and on the left, his brother Yosef. Both lovely lovely men who were gracious enough to extend an invitation to this Ethiopian community event, to the adoption community as well. Makeda, of course, is more interested in the Olympic torch. The icing on the cake was this:

Yes, Robel autographed Makeda's soccer ball. Look, right under "one love". What a great day!

This is What Makes Me Happy

2010-02-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

Head on over here, and have a peek at Happy. Haze and I have journeyed together for quite some time. My file went to Ethiopia in September '07 and hers went in November '07. Makeda came home in May '08, and Haze has been waiting with the patience of a Saint ever since. Different agencies, different journeys, different timelines, but FINALLY, an especially long and agonizing wait is over. Oh baby, Baby's coming home. Can't wait to see the first pics. Woo hoo Haze!!!

I Love This Man!

2010-02-15T09:55:00.000-08:00

News Reporter, interviewing Robel Teklemariam: "Tonight, he'll carry the Ethiopian flag as part of the opening ceremonies."

Robel: "I have to, I'm the only one."

Love it. A trailblazer with a sense of humour.

Now, for all you Lower Mainlanders, check this out. There will be a fun-filled family event to recognize the dedication and hard work of Robel Teklemariam in representing his country as a sole competitor. It is also to inspire children and youth of Ethiopian origin that live in Vancouver to pursue their dreams as Robel did. This event will take place on February 27th from 3:30-7:00 p.m. at Collingwood Neighbourhood House located on 5288 Joyce Street, Vancouver, BC V5R 4G8.

I'm also trying to arrange something through his brother that would focus on our local adoption community, but I haven't heard back yet. Stay tuned.

On a slightly different, but still sporty note, VANOC is releasing "surprise" tickets on a haphazard and random basis, so you have to keep checking the website, and one of my friends just scored Row 13 men's figure skating for us this Thursday night. Go Patrick Chan!!! And (although the musical guest at this ceremony cannot begin to compete with Trooper and Lover Boy next week), I have also scored tickets to tonight's medal ceremony where the big prize will be presented to none other than... Alex Bilodeau! For $22! I'm on a role.

Fever

2010-02-12T09:29:00.000-08:00

Olympic Fever that is!!!

Today, I'm right in the thick of it. Working downtown, I can see helicopters and planes flying overhead all the time. It's quite a racket. The Flame went by out front about an hour ago and the crowds are huge. Last night I grabbed Makeda and we went with B and her sons into Kitsilano to watch it go through that neighborhood. Men in black talking importantly into earpieces as they surround the runner. Makeda waved at everyone in true princess style and swished a Canadian flag back and forth. Here she is with Tessie.

I've now attached my obligatory Canadian flag to my car and am starting to line up tickets to a few events. You may recall this. In order to ensure that my sports and culture exposure remain balanced, I've also acquired tickets to see this quintessential Canadian band which is playing with that other quintessential Canadian band, Loverboy, at one of the medal ceremonies (I know, I know you've never heard of them, but trust me, north of the border these boys were HUGE back in the '80's.)

Lastly, even though I don't have tickets, I'll be watching this at 3:30 pm (EST) on Monday February 15th - Robel Teklemarian, Ethiopia's sole representative at the Winter Olympics, compete in the Men's 15km cross-country skiing event.

You can read and comment on his blog here. Makeda will be dropping by the office Monday afternoon to share the Ethiopian Olympic spirit and enjoy the race while mama enjoys the view. Is he hot or what?

Go Canada (and Ethiopia) Go!!!

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

2010-02-07T19:53:00.000-08:00

Sweetie, learn to hide the evidence.

Actually, to give her credit, the first half of the kleenex box contents were stuffed under the seat cushion of the armchair she's leaning against, so she may have had an inkling that this was a no-no.

Twists and Braids for Idiots

2010-01-24T13:37:00.001-08:00

See if you can spot the difference.

Maybe this one is a better illustration.

My point is, Makeda has hair. I do not. I've never had hair. My mum kept a bow stuck to my head until I was two, just to make sure people knew I was a girl. I grew up on bad perms and a curling iron, switching later to a high volumizing blowdryer.

So, I've been putting off the baby haircare. Sure, I've put in a few colourful elastics and I can fluff her hair into a pretty funky afro, but as Makeda's hair has gotten longer, I've put off the inevitable and let Tessie carry the burden. All the good hair you've seen on this blog is courtesy of nanny Tessie. And, to be fair, I don't have much practice time. Makeda is exclusively mine on Saturdays and Sundays. Weeknights aren't really conducive to sitting in front of Dora, practicing on hair. It's our playtime. And weekends, I can pretty easily think up stuff I'd rather have us do.

But, much like dealing with my math phobia, it got to the point where I realized I had to face the fact that I was parenting an African child, and just deal with it. Gramma "helped" by ordering everything under the sun that I could ever need, from Shuruba. Beaders, beads, stoppers, applicable hair goo, you name it, I got it. So, Sundays have become hairday until I get the hang of this.

Shuruba has some great video clips to teach you the basics. I knew instinctively that this would not be enough. Gramma went back to try and order a DVD. No such luck. I was stuck with the clips. Which are good. If you're normal. But, if you're both hair challenged, and you operate in my world (aka, the idiot zone), there's not enough info.

So, I'm here today to give you pasty white girls the tips that no one else would think to give you, because they are not stupid.

Firstly, buy the Curly Frizz Pudding. It really works so any idiot can smooth out a clump of baby hair and start twisting. Unfortunately, more is not better. When you can no longer operate the beader with your hands, and are resorting to your teeth, because you can't get a grip on the slippery hair, you've gone too far.

Secondly, put the beads on the beader before you start twisting. I believe this was recommended in the video, but it needed to be said more than once. Nothing kills your enthusiasm faster than getting to the end of the perfect twist only to have to use your elbow and teeth to string the beader.

Lastly (and I swear you will not find this tip anywhere else, because no one else on the internet lacks enough dignity to 'fess up) - while I strongly recommend using your teeth to close the bead snaps so you don't lose your grip on your twists, make sure you... you guessed it... get your tongue out of the way first. That hurt people. It really hurt. I've not been in that situation since growing up North and sticking my tongue against a playground post, just to see if it was really true. But at least a pole doesn't move. Try being attached to a moving two year old.

This is the result. Not beautiful, I'll admit, but for me, quite the feat, and therefore worth the kodak moment.

A Nifty Way to Avoid Jail

2010-01-20T16:45:00.000-08:00

Well, well. It appears that Ms. Sue Hayhow has fled Canada to begin a new life in Ethiopia. Since charges had not yet been laid up here, she would have retained her passport and would be free to go. But, it's a small world and I'm sure we'll catch up with her eventually. Here's a photo. If any of you see her while you're travelling, please do say hello to her from all of us, and give her our assurance that we will make sure her actions come back to bite her in the ass eventually. And don't forget to tell anyone you may see her affiliated with, the heady news about her background. She will undoubtedly seek involvement with an orphanage there and there's no sense putting anyone else at risk. Spread the word (and the photo)!!

We're Number...

2010-01-14T11:05:00.001-08:00

165!!! Imagine Adoption has now issued all of the "place markers" for those of us who had their files in Ethiopia at the date of the bankruptcy. We (me and big sister M) are lucky #165. So, at the rate of 10 to 15 referrals a month, which looks feasible, it will be 12 to 16 months. It seems a lifetime, since last time I waited a whole FOUR months, but in the face of almost losing it all, I'm very grateful. Hoorah!!

Well, Not Right Away

2010-01-08T20:35:00.001-08:00

That's right, just to spice up a 2010 that's started out a little slow (all 8 days of it) ... we're moving. Voluntarily. To Toronto. Where there's snow. Often. And humidity. Ick. But the shopping should be an improvement and really, what else matters? But I digress. This is a temporary move. One year, tops. And it won't happen til around May so I still have a lot of time to freak out properly. As if that's not enough, I've decided to drive there. That's right, one pasty white chick, her kid and a nanny, hotfooting it across the prairies in a U-haul. I don't know why. I've just never done it so I thought it was a good idea. Don't worry - this is the internet. You'll never even notice I'm gone.

Someone declared that I must be having a mid-life crisis. I said if I was the type to have a mid-life crisis, it's more likely that happened the year I bought my motorcycle. Or adopted a child. Or took 6 months off. Or started a second adoption. My friends, the year I sit still, I am having a mid-life crisis, and you may intervene.

Christmas Eve with the Ethio Crew

2009-12-25T12:19:00.001-08:00

Earlier in the evening with Auntie Judy...

Lucky Number 7

2009-12-21T19:55:00.000-08:00

I have been blessed over my past couple of years of blogging to discover an amazing village who have been gracious enough to share their journeys with me as I travelled mine. And I’ve been even more blessed by virtue of the fact that, as a result of my work work, my work for the CFA Institute, and the aeroplan points generated by both, I’ve been able to spread my wings and meet a great number of these amazing women in person.

Work work takes me often to Calgary where I met the first of my adoption peeps, the amazing Haze. Through Haze, I met Gina. An IAMASLUT convention last May took me to San Francisco where I frolicked with Haze, Porter, Tasha (private) and Suzanne (private). Tash made that trip all the way from Ohio which frankly, I couldn’t even find on a map if my life depended on it. At Afrikadeys in Calgary this past summer, I added Dianne. And now, after a trip down (and to the right) to Washington DC, I’m excited to add Tami to my “in-person adoption peeps” list. We had dinner at Dukem, where my friend Leslie (aka one of the aunties) took this lovely snap of the two of us. Is her hair killer or what? She has agreed that notwithstanding how gorgeous she looks with that hair, she will side with Haze and make sure that Makeda does not get near any straightener until she’s at least 18.

And this list doesn't even include the non-bloggers that the bloggers have introduced me to - big shout out in particular to Marelise, Bridget and Evelyn. Love all you gals - thanks for sharing the ride!

Some Very Merry Christmas News

2009-12-16T12:18:00.000-08:00

Hot off the press from my adoption agency:

"Hello Imagine Families!

It seems this is a week of very good news here at Imagine!

As was communicated yesterday, we received our Ontario Ministry License
renewal early this week. We have further received word today that our
NGO license renewal in Ethiopia has been approved!

We are also very excited to inform you that we have been able to
commence the process of referrals once again!

We trust that this news brings you all a sense of relief and joy, as it
did in our office today! We recognize that there may be challenges
ahead. However, there has been much accomplished in these last several
months, and we know that the lives of these children and families, one
by one, will be forever changed!

The Board and staff continue to await the final review and approval
from BDO. The Board does not anticipate there to be any significant
issues that will arise during this process."

5 exclamation marks! We're back in business baby!

A Bumpy Start to the Season

2009-12-14T21:56:00.000-08:00

Apparently Christmas is to receive no more deference than Halloween.

Our seasonal festivities started this weekend with a Santa Claus breakfast. No sooner had we arrived with our entourage (both grandparents and nanny tessie) than gramma was kind enough to point out what appeared to be a very damp baby bottom. Normally this would not be a problem, but today, with the distraction of extra people and trying to get her in and out of gymnastics before the party started, the diaper bag got left behind. M didn't seem distressed, so I decided we would try and tough it out. Unfortunately, she wasn't sitting still, and it was really hard to pretend I didn't see it the huge wet spot. I felt the inevitable "bad parent" balloon start to float around my head.

I decided to take her up to the craft table to make a reindeer hat. This entails tracing small child hands into an outline that resembles two antlers, cutting them out, and stapling them to a paper headband. This is where things started to fall apart. Firstly, said small child refused to let the headband touch her head, so I couldn't measure it and had to guess at the right length. Another "bad parent" balloon started following me as I guessed wrong and made it too small. Now it had to perch on top of her afro just to stay on. However, that turned out to be irrelevant as, upon finishing, nothing in the world, including 2 goofy grandparents modelling the headgear for her, would entice Makeda to let it come to rest on her curls. And forget the tears - they are no longer necessary. Unlike Halloween, now I get a hand in my face, or perhaps a karate chop, with a loud "No" that causes the "bad parent, child abuser" balloon to attach itself to me as the crowd gathers.

Luckily, at that point, the pancakes arrived, so I put her on my lap and fed her, thereby closing her mouth and hiding the wet spot. The "bad parent" balloons started to float away. Unfortunately, the wet spot started to transfer to my lap, which was uncomfortable and easily observable as I stood up to get more food.

Then Santa arrived. Santa is often a good distraction, but not when you have a small child with a Santaphobia that will not allow her to get closer than 5 feet to even a picture, never mind the up -close-in-person version. She screamed as soon as he made eye contact.

I put her in the chair next to me to put some distance between her and the evil bearded man, and Tessie took over the breakfast feeding. A moment later, a look of alarm came across her face, but that was followed by "good, she was able to get a burp out". Unfortunately, the calm didn't last. Makeda exploded like a volcano, the likes of which we haven't seen since Grampa got caught in the cross-fire in our last night in Addis, when she was still the projectile queen. Not only was that meal on public display, but the "pre-gymnastics" snack and the morning milk followed closely behind. Despite the attempt at a quick cover up (she's a lethal but silent barfer), the rest of the banquet table guests cleared out. We felt we'd made enough of an impression for one day and slinkered out the door, the multitudinous "bad parent" balloons following closely behind...

Ethiopian Book Club

2009-11-30T21:04:00.000-08:00

Way back when (it seems like forever), as our adoption agency was just crawling out of bankruptcy after a successful restructuring vote, 4 of us rather vocal BC'ers tentatively decided that our support group could perhaps now evolve from organizing conference calls to meeting in person and discussing common interests (adoption from Ethiopia seemed like a good start). We decided to start at my house, set a date of November 30th, and determined that we would discuss a book.

After much to-ing and fro-ing we settled on Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese. As time passed, of course glitches arose. Some idiot left her book in a hotel room in Washington, DC (ok, that one was me). Another forgot to get started. Another went to Hawaii and tried to finish it at the last minute and fell asleep and forgot the ending. Basically, we were meant to be together.

We cracked open a bottle (or two), toasted today's successful milestone of 246 amended retainer agreements received by our adoption agency; enough to just maybe get our adoptions back on track, and tucked into Thai food. Yes, perhaps the food/wine selection didn't quite match the reading material, but it's my party and I'll Thai if I want to. And just like that, new friendships were born. We never got around to discussing the book but we covered pretty much everything else. To keep the momentum going, we've settled on My Father's Daughter, by Hannah Pool, for January 2010, but I wouldn't bet money that we get a discussion going.

Here's to new friends!

My Little Monster

2009-11-14T20:50:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm very late posting, but I needed time to get over the trauma. Halloween was not a happy event this year. She screamed just looking at the costume. The feet freaked her out so I had to tuck them out of sight, up her pant legs. Putting on the head gear was out of the question. It took two of us to stuff her in - one to manipulate arms and legs and the other to distract and console.

Finally, off we went, one mama and three aunties in tow. She refused to walk - I would set her down on each doorstep and she would quietly reach in a bowl and take her candy, put it in her pumpkin, and promptly reach for pick up with a solemn "up peas". Then I would carry her to the next house. This is why you travel with 3 aunties. Anything less and there's not enough people to take a shift and still collect enough candy for the adults to remotely make the event worthwhile.

The first smile I got was once we were back in the house and she had her first taste of chocolate bar - an Aero to be exact. With her mood having improved somewhat, we tried a photo op - but still to no avail. What you mostly see is a tricky manoever called the "headgear hover", such that said headgear does not actually come to rest upon the reluctant head. So, you have to imagine what the costume might have looked like by combining her body with her aunty's head. I will be amortizing this costume over next year I think.

A Fairy Tale

2009-11-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was an aspiring cirque du soleil performer who thought that jumping up and down in the crib was a good way to practice lift off. One day she went a little too close to the edge and bounced head first, right over. Luckily, her multi-talented coach, a.k.a. "mama" was standing close by and caught the little trapeze artist head first about 3 inches off the ground. Mama gave herself a pretty big pour. Then she went shopping for (another) baby trap. No more lift off for you baby girl!

Blue Steel

2009-10-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Also, perhaps, "Mini Me". Don't worry - the outfit match was accidental. I'm not that anal (yet). Although it rated a photo op.

Failure is Not an Option

2009-10-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

MP Glen Pearson posted this letter yesterday, on his blog. He's perhaps a little optimistic about the guaranteed happy ending-to-come, but I liked it anyway.

Just Imagine
September 30, 2009 by glenpearson

Months ago, families attempting to adopt children from Ethiopia received the shattering news that the adoption agency they were working through was declaring sudden bankruptcy. Most of us recall the pain reflected in the faces and comments of the prospective parents and our hearts went out them. Their hopes were finished.

Except they weren’t. From the ashes of deep despair emerged a collective effort that turned tragedy on its head and produced hope when people believed there was none. What is remarkable about the collective effort of these parents-to-be was that they kept themselves together when anger and frustration could have split them in numerous pieces.

Imagine Adoption, and the moving story surrounding the parents, has been alluded to a number of times in this blog. I’ve written of the first meeting my wife and I had with them and how they constructed a plan in those earliest moments that hatched a truly remarkable story of how citizens who organize, share the burden, skillfully express their honest emotions, and arouse their talents can in the end even make government move with alacrity and compassion.
Under the adroit influence of a steering committee, the hopeful parents engaged media, community partners and politicians from various domains and successfully gained support for their efforts. And then just today, the news: “An international adoption agency that collapsed this summer, stunning hundreds of would-be adoptive parents … was moved out of bankruptcy yesterday” (London Free Press).

I’m not sure any of us can really understand the sheer heights these parents climbed, not so much to overcome obstacles, but to get to their children. They turned their collective grief, not to anger, but to faith and endurance. When it seemed all was lost, they could never accept that news because that meant the children in Ethiopia had lost as well. It just wasn’t good enough … and so they organized and prevailed.

Working with government, creditors and a bankruptcy firm, they succeeded in forming a new board of directors, along with an advisory board. Moreover, each family had to pay another $4,000 each to make it work. And it did. Starting at this moment, the board will hire two full-time workers and a part-time worker. At this rate, most of the adoptions will be completed.
I concluded an earlier blog on these inspirational parents by saying, “If only Ottawa worked like this.” That was just speaking of the spirit of cooperation shown by this hardy group. But now that cooperation has reaped its reward, showing us all once again that if citizens can overcome such obstacles with such cooperation and dedication, our own politicians could surely learn some lessons. I can honestly say they have taught me much, but more importantly have given me hope for what is possible.

We live in a strange world where a sports figure, who can masterfully move a small round ball into a cup on the green can be asked to dine with presidents and prime ministers. Self-serving and self-absorbed entertainers gain immediate access to the halls of power. What are we thinking? The kind of people who should be extended the red carpet into Parliament are people like these parents. They are neither masters of the inconsequential nor purveyors of their own self-image. Instead, they are what we should all emulate. Their secret of power and success was their humility and belief – the very things in such short supply in our nation’s capital these days. Well done.

A Day in the Life of...

2009-09-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

not me. But only because of the husband reference. Thanks Porter for the laugh.

Just Call Me Dora...

2009-09-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

OK, ever since yesterday's vote, I can't get that stupid Dora Explorer song out of my head. Don't play dumb - you all know it. We DID it! Yah! We DID it! We took those stupid naysayers and kicked them in the balls, we DID it! Yah! We DID it! We stuck together, all for one and one for all. We DID it! Yah! We DID it!

Well, maybe Dora doesn't say balls but you get the point. Anyway, 248 yes votes and 20 no votes so, an overwhelming desire to get things back up and running. There has been a small but vocal group of IA parents who seemed to want the effort to fail, and I think parents were uncertain how big this group actually was. Judging by the small handful of no votes that came from parents who had files already in Ethiopia (3), it seems the vast majority of us are willing to make a go of this. Next steps are to get new retainer agreements signed and get everyone's $2,000 in. The money will be critical, as the $200,000 that BDO Dunwoody is releasing to us immediately will be enough to keep operations going for awhile, but won't be enough to cover the outstanding orphanage fees, which have to caught up asap, or the whole thing will fail. So, the next few weeks will be a bit tough I think, waiting to make sure that those who voted to continue are willing to back up their vote with their money. Roughly speaking we probably need at least 200 of those 248 yes votes to send their cheques in, in order to have a reasonable chance of success, but I think most of us are hopeful that the vast majority of these 248 families will take that next step.

So, keep your fingers crossed and SEND YOUR CHEQUES IN!

And remember... We DID it! Yay! We DID it!

The Plan

2009-09-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, the Plan was posted earlier this week. I've had a number of queries asking what I think about it, so here it is. But first, a bit of background - My file went to Ethiopia on June 23, 2009 so, of the 229 families of Imagine Adoption whose files are currently sitting in Ethiopia waiting for referrals, I'm about as far down the list as you can get. The Plan, in a nutshell, is that new management will step in, a new Board will step up, and an Advisory Committee, which includes yours truly, will chip in when requested/required. An additional $4,000 per family will have to be paid - $2,000 now and $2,000 in the New Year once operations have been commenced and stabilized and a determination made that the restructuring plan is, in fact, viable. Referrals are scheduled to start again early in 2010, but reasonable expectations are that this will happen earlier.

As a parent at the bottom of the referral list, I needed to get comfortable that the Plan presented a reasonable opportunity to keep the agency viable for at least 3 years, without the need for my further financial input. By putting in $4,000 now, I need to be reasonably certain that in 2 years, I don't get another cash call. Because by the time that cash call comes, if half the families have brought home their kids, that's not going to be a $4,000 cash call, it's going to $5,000 or $8,000 or $10,000. In other words, if the Plan doesn't keep the organization operating, more fees will have to be paid by the remaining families to wrap up their files. For that reason, the team that created the Plan made sure to include 3 years of cash flow statements. In doing so, the assumptions presented with the Plan are crystal clear that the agency has to be viable as an ongoing business in order for it to be successful.

The Plan is not perfect. It provides no guarantees. It is risky. There will be an operating deficit again after only one year in operation, despite the additional family contributions. The agency will be micromanaging its costs for the next few years. Despite this, the Plan is not destined to fail. Success requires that parents vote yes at the creditors meeting on September 21st and pay their first $2,000. Success also depends upon those parents whose files are not yet in Ethiopia paying their remaining agency fees (if any) in 2011 and upon the agency being able to continue operations by accepting new clients in 2011. If any of these things fail to happen, there is little doubt that the agency will re-enter bankruptcy within the next couple of years. If this happens, depending on at what stage it fails, some parents may well have been able to bring home their children, while others (including me) will be unable to do so. If that doesn't sound bad enough, notwithstanding that our relationship with MOWA is apparently stable, our orphanages have not been paid since bankruptcy was declared. Failure to maintain and mend those relationships quickly could be the end of this agency.

This all sounds very dire, but the reality is, this is a start up business now, with start up risks similar to those of any other new business. The Plan itself clearly states the assumptions (conservative) that are being made so that affected parents can make informed decisions about whether this will be a viable business, warts and all.

The $4,000 being paid by each family will not cover all the operational costs of the agency for three years. This amount was merely arrived at because that was the sum that seemed to reflect what parents could reasonably pay in order to keep as many families in the program as possible and realize their adoption dreams, while recognizing that money would have to come from elsewhere to supplement those funds. That includes fundraising and it includes new clients. There are no guarantees, and there is no question that the plan will have to be modified and updated as time goes by, operations get under way, and circumstances become clearer.

Nonetheless, I support this Plan, and I have voted yes. I will contribute whatever time and expertise I have to get this agency back up and running and turn it into a success we can all be proud of. And I hope that in the next two years I'm able to describe "The Call" that heralds the arrival of Daughter #2. Please wish us luck for September 21st and thereafter.

Vaykay

2009-09-07T20:14:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, I got back from my much anticipated long weekend in Vegas. Sans child of course. I love leaving Mak with her Gramma and Grampa as she gets so excited she won't nap, which means when I come back from my long weekend, I have an exhausted sleep deprived child on my hands who sleeps extra long naps for at least the next 3 days, thereby extending said vaykay. I could post photos, but as we all know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. So, for all of those hard partying gamblers out there, just log off now. For all you single mamas, rejoice and express your envy at the following:

Day 1: sleep in til 8am; 3 hours at the spa; extended lunch; 2 hours beside the pool; extended amazing dinner at Bellagio; Cirque de Soleil

Day 2: sleep in til 10am (practice makes perfect); extended lunch; 5 hours shopping at the premium outlet mall; extended dinner; gambling (win $200 on slots); get on plane; arrive in Vancouver where cute customs guard lets me in without paying duty on over-the-limit purchases.

Day 3: sleep in til 10am. Get latte. Walk dogs. Daughter hand delivered with love at noon. Afternoon at the beach with lovely daughter followed by dinner with friends at a pub. Yes, I take my daughter to the local pub. It's a single mother prerogative.

And now, I shall peruse the half-dozen trashy mags left on my doorstop by Auntie Judy while I was away and try and drag myself to the gym tomorrow morning as not everything was left behind in Vegas - my ass followed me home.

'Night all.

Progress, on More Than One Level

2009-08-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

Language is not exactly flowing from Miss M's mouth. Lots of words, yes, but none of them strung together.

This is a typical conversation:

Me: Say, Hi Mama!
M: Hi
Me: Mama
M: mama
Me: no, say Hi Mama!
M: Hi
Me: Mama
M: mama mama mama

You get the drift.

Since we haven't progressed as far as Hi Mama, I've not really tried anything else. This was, perhaps, a mistake. Apparently, it was just the subject matter she was not keen on.

This past weekend we were out walking in the stroller and a man got out of his parked car. She leaned out of the stroller and said "Hi Baby!".

He was kind of old and not my type, but with a little training...

Heartbreaker

2009-08-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

The time has come to bid adieu to the great italian love of my life. That's right. Black Death, aka my 2005 Ducati multistrada, is sporting a for sale sign. Sort of. It's breaking my heart. So I placed an unreasonably high sticker price on it and crossed my fingers that no one would go that high. And I do mean unreasonable. I've had this bike for 3 years and I'm almost making money off of this. And so far it's worked!!! Not one phonecall. Nada. Until yesterday. He checked it out. He fell in love. He asked me if my price was firm. I said it was. And... crap. I think he's gonna take it. I'll know this weekend.

But the deal's not done til the paperwork's signed....

I love you italian studmuffin!

Adoption Playgroup Posse

2009-08-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have been very blessed to meet a number of families who live very near me in Vancouver and who have also adopted from Ethiopia. We all went down around the same time, and the kids are all fairly close in age. They form my local adoption posse and we try to get together for playgroups as often as possible. This was easier before we went back to work, but those lucky few who aren't back yet, or don't engage in the 9 to 5 grind, enthusiasticly lead the charge to keep it going. These pics were taken this summer on a weekend brunch playdate at Rochelle and Ayana's. There's about 8 kids all together, but here's just a couple of shots.

Abdisa and Makeda

Binyam and Ayana

Matteo

We have a diagnosis!!

2009-08-11T13:41:00.001-07:00

The cause of the crappy croup has been determined. In fact, there are two separate problems: (1) Myer-Cotton Grade I subglottic stenosis and (2) Laryngcomalacia (a.k.a. floppy voice box). Subglottic stenosis is a narrowing of the airway. Floppy voice box is caused by the cartilage in the larynx being soft. It causes the inlet to narrow, especially if breathing is hard. Either one of these conditions is a factor in recurring croup and my little darling has been blessed with both. For now, we're not doing anything, the hope being that she will grow out of both conditions. But, as of early Fall, she'll be back on a puffer for the duration of cold and flu season, just to try and create a base so that we can hopefully avoid the great 2010 emergency room camp-outs. She put on quite a performance in post-op yesterday. For a mild-mannered little girl she was bringing the house down. At least we know her lungs are clear. While I empathized with her unhappiness, I have to confess to a certain satisfaction over her tantrums. They couldn't wait to get her out of there, and as a result, we got out a couple of hours earlier than if she'd been her typical well-behaved self.

Afrikadeys was great fun. We met lots of new Cowtown adoption peeps and Makeda was rocking out to the music with great abandon. I love this girls' confidence. Here she is wearing Biset's pail on her head. I did not put it there. This is her very own fashion statement. Haze got video as well, and if it turns out, I'll post that later. It was quite hilarious to see her running around the field wearing a bucket on top of her sunhat.

Hey It's Me Staring Back at Me

2009-08-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

So I was doing my nightly scroll through the e-news to see if my interview had been picked up (yet) and hey! there i was! That's a bit startling actually to see your own face staring back at you on a website, especially since the interview was so long ago now, I really thought they'd decided not to publish it. For a second I thought I'd logged onto my own blog by mistake. But finally - the promised Sun article.

A bit of an update on the situation - there does appear to be some light at the end of the tunnel. The Trustee is looking at a "viable" proposal that has been submitted to keep the agency operating until those of us at the pre-referral stage can complete our adoptions. But the devil will be in the details of course. The financial shortfall will be a signifcant stumbling block to overcome. Yours truly is now the BC rep on the Trustee liason committee so hopefully there will be more concrete details soon.

In the meantime, to lighten things up a bit, Mak and I are packing our bags for Cowtown this weekend to go to Afrikadey Festival with some of the Calgary adoption posse. We will be staying with Auntie Haze and Makeda will break in darling Biset's new crib. We hope to meet Dianne and the beauteous Hana and many others that I've only connected with through blogland. AND, Marelise and Mak will FINALLY get to meet in person since I did not bring her as my date to Marelise's recent wedding, much to her chagrin. Marelise, Makeda gets her scope done at Children's on Monday after we leave, so you know I will be pestering you again for info. In fact, if you could just look down her throat while we're there, I'd really rather have you in charge.

See you all soon!

Show Me the Money

2009-07-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

I don't really think there's much need to editorialize this so I'll just let you read it yourselves. The only thing I'll add is that it's very kind of the Board members to share all this with us. It's created a nice record of their apparent gross negligence in supervising the management of this agency which they were seemingly unaware it was their obligation to do. I especially liked the part where they were completely unaware of how much the CEO of the organization who reports directly to them, was paid. Bravo, volunteers, bravo. May you be held to the same level of accountability as our erstwhile CEO and her ex-hubby.

Update from BC Government

2009-07-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

Not a lot of new info here, but here's what I have, resulting from this morning's follow up conversation with Nina Sihota. She advised that last Friday's meeting ended up being more information sharing, and most of what was shared is stuff that we, as waiting parents, already know. The lawyer sent to Ethiopia by BDO is coming back today. He's been reviewing and assessing all of the files that were in Ethiopia at the time of the bankruptcy. He'll report to BDO shortly and presumably, BDO will announce his conclusions as soon as they can. BDO is driving the boat on Imagine's longer term plan. Presumably, they are working closely with the Ontario government, but it's their plan, which is an interesting twist on the usual role of a Trustee. Nina says they are still information gathering and she cautions that she does not expect them to be in a position to release any firm details on the future of Imagine for some time yet.

I asked specifically whether anyone had received confirmation of MOWA's views on this situation, and whether MOWA is willing or able to continue to facilitate further adoptions through Imagine, in whatever form it continues. Nina said that since MOWA has been shut down for two weeks, they have not been able to get any confirmation at all from them as to how the Ethiopian government wants to proceed. So, basically, after 2 weeks, we really don't know a whole lot more than we did, as the situation pertains to pre-referral parents. Nina seemed to think the likely resolution was that Imagine clients would have to look at other countries, since there is no other agency in Canada which has the capacity to take on further Ethiopian clients. That is not the advice that leads me to believe Imagine is going to be brought back to life...

Proof of Claim Form: Some Help and a Disclaimer

2009-07-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

For those of you who need some help filling out the BDO Dunwoody form, feel free to take from this what you wish. This is not intended as legal advice. I am not a bankruptcy practitioner - this is simply how I filled out my own form.

Firstly, the benefit of sending your money "in trust" is that these funds get priority over unsecured claims (employees, telephone bills, etc.). However, not all of your money was sent in trust and secondly, we don't know at this point how Imagine accounted for the trust funds. If they simply deposited the trust funds into their general account, they may no longer be trust funds, regardless of how they were sent in by clients.

Having said that, I have claimed all of my funds as trust funds, notwithstanding that only a portion was specifically sent to Imagine as such. This is because all of the expenses incurred by Imagine on my behalf were to be for the sole purpose of completing the adoption of a child for me. Since my adoption has not been completed, I have argued that entire sum was trust monies and have submitted in my Proof of Claim that my claim takes priority over all unsecured creditors. I've made this statement in two places: (1) on the Schedule A attachment where I outlined the exact amounts I paid and when, and (2) in item 4 of the Proof of Claim. In item 4, I crossed out the wording that said "I do not claim a right to a priority" and changed that to "I do claim a right to a priority".

I have seen some concerns posted on the various chatrooms that by submitting a Proof of Claim you may be giving up your right to continue with your adoption. I'm not going to comment on any of the legalities surrounding the bankruptcy, but do wish to point out that other advice coming from BDO says that that is not the case.

Hope this helps,

An Update, Such As It Is

2009-07-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

I guess this counts as an update, although I'm not sure how useful the information is. I spoke with Nina Sihota of BC Adoption Services late this afternoon to follow up on a few questions I had regarding the role of the BC government in resolving this fiasco. First and foremost was to find out what they are doing to ensure that all of us "pre-referrals" get our adoptions completed. The answer was no different than anyone else has received to date, namely, it's a possibility, but no decision has been made yet. One will be made (fairly) soon. I got the impression that a decision would be made in the next few weeks, but not necessarily by the creditor's meeting on the 30th.

Of interest - Nina is meeting with her provincial counterparts this Friday to discuss this and other issues relating to Imagine Adoption. The topic of pre-referrals will be covered then, although she says it's not anticipated that a final decision will be forthcoming from that meeting.

Following my questions about the ongoing viability of Imagine Adoption, I asked whether, if the adoptions cannot proceed, those of us who lost money will be indemnified. I suppose we can all, to some extent, claim priority based upon funds in trust, but that only covers about one-third of my fees paid. In addition, I have no comfort that the money was actually properly segregated into a trust account, so I'm not hopeful that even that amount will be returned. I was told by Nina that this too, is a topic being covered at this Friday's meeting. And I have to say - I fully expect that we will be made whole. The public pressure on the Ontario government has been significant and they have clearly played some role by virtue of their regulatory obligations to supervise this agency. So I think we'll get our money back, and then they can do what they have to do to recover those funds from Sue, Andrew and/or the Board of Directors. Small comfort, ultimately, but it's something.

After the meeting on Friday is finished, BC Adoption Services will summarize whatever progress, decisions, etc. were made, and send the information to each of the 6 registered adoption agencies in BC to be forwarded to all Imagine clients. So we should hear something late Friday, or Monday.

In the meantime, I gaze upon this and remain grateful for what I have...

Imagine Adoption Update

2009-07-17T15:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to reprint all of the great information that's circulating on our group facebook or the yahoo boards, so I'll just give you the lowdown on a couple of things I've been following up on myself, that didn't look like were being covered by others. Apologies if they've already been covered and I missed the post(s).

First - legal action. Too soon, of course, but I wanted to touch base with BDO to make sure that they would actually be doing this for us. I know they have (expensive) counsel working for them, so we don't need to spend our good money duplicating efforts that are being paid for out of Imagine funds that were taken from us in the first place. I did get that comfort. If BDO uncovers any evidence of misappropriation of funds, they will report this to the Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy who will liase with the police so the police can assess whether to lay charges. In addition, it is this Office who will make the decisions about going after any personal assets of individuals. So we definitely need to let BDO finish their work and just monitor where things are going.

Second - I travel for business a fair bit. So I knew that one of Sue's biggest "assets" was likely to be her airline points from her numerous first class trips to Ethiopia and her Starwood points from her numerous stays at the Addis Sheraton. Recently I alerted BDO about these points since, although Sue almost certainly kept them personally, they are the property of Imagine. I also inquired whether these points could be redistributed to the parents currently in Addis or on their way, many of whom are anticipating long stays that not all can afford. The Trustee (Susan Taves) told me today that Sue's airline points have now been reclaimed by BDO and her Starwood points are in the process of being reclaimed. She will not be taking advantage of her business perks to remove herself to a more desirable offshore location. (Am I petty and vindictive or what?? Boo hoo Sue!) However, BDO has made no decision about the redistribution of the points. The Trustee has the authority to redistribute them, but is not planning on making these decisions right away. She doesn't think it will be necessary because.... (drum roll please)... the High Commission is meeting on Monday and with all the pressure being put on them by US!!! she expects that parents will not be waiting 3 months for their Visas and this should start moving along pretty quickly.

Hope this cheers some of you up!

Quintessential M

2009-07-17T15:09:00.000-07:00

Just a quick health update - I didn't specifiy the problem previously, but M was having some trouble walking and there was considerable scurrying around to try and find out what the problem was. This culminated in a (another) trip to ER last night on instructions from her pediatrician. Long story short - she's doing better and is not in any pain anymore, but no one has any idea what the problem was (is). X-rays and blood tests all looked good. She's happy as a clam and brushing the whole thing off as usual, so I'll chalk this up as a childhood mystery, and the problem, whatever it may have been, solved. So, now I'm 2 down, 1 to go (I'm not counting the car anymore - it's going to be accessorized with blue and white scratches for the forseeable future).

Expensive Souvenirs

2009-07-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

You will recall the four steps it takes to have a really bad day. And, all one can really do is chip away at them one at a time. Which isn't to say I'm not working on all of them, but they're only going to improve one at a time (except the car - that's going to wear a blue and white scratch for the forseeable future). But one thing has been accomplished - Dog 2 - aka Widget, came through his surgery with flying colours and his egg sized abscess has been replaced with several stitches and a drainage tube. Yes, I know, ewww gross. But he's my bud and I love him even when he looks like a freak. Here he is:

How could such a thing have happened? I'm glad you asked. Here is the culprit:

Having a little trouble? Let me enlighten you.

Vet: It took us awhile to find it, but we finally did. It's a {mumble mumble}
Me: What?!? He ate a piece of glass?
Vet: No - grass.
Me: Grass? I just spent $1,000 because he ate grass?!?
Vet: Well, grass seed.
Me: I just spent a $1,000 because he ate grass seed?
Vet (now laughing): yes.

Apparently, he ate a piece of grass seed which travelled from his mouth through his esophagus and squatted in a fold of skin (or some similar anatomic approximation) and then grew into an egg.

May I remind you all that $1,000 is a lot of shoes. I told them I wanted to save it, so there it is in the little glass tube.

Stirring the Pot.... and Keep Stirring

2009-07-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to reiterate what you're already reading on other blogs. Call/write your MP! I've written mine and am requesting a meeting. If I can get it, I'm happy to have a few tagalongs. The more the better. Let me know. Also, just wanted to re-post the text of an email I sent yesterday to a few people in the same boat I am in. Just some practical legal advice that I may as well share more broadly. Here you go.

"I appreciate that at this moment, money is not our concern. But, I think we can agree that if it turns out that funds were misappropriated, and this conduct caused the loss of our future families, we want to see those responsible held accountable, even if we can never truly be made whole. To me, this means, in addition to whatever court process may evolve over time, ensuring that those responsible do not benefit financially from our loss.

Over the next few days you will be receiving a legal notice to creditors. You will recall that the money we gave to Imagine was marked "in trust". In the form you receive, you need to declare those sums as being a trust claim AND an unsecured creditor claim. Please pass this advice along to anyone else you know who will be receiving such a form.

Whenever there's a bankruptcy, secured creditors get paid first and then unsecured creditors share whatever is left (typically very little). If we can prove there's been a breach of trust then there is a possibility we can sue the person(s) responsible and secure those funds from them. At this time, obviously we have no idea whether or not funds have been misappropriated, but we need to keep all of our options open in case that turns out to have been the case."

Worst Day Ever

2009-07-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

This is the summary of my day thus far (not even remotely in order, and no, things do not come in "threes"):

(1) Dog 2 needs emergency surgery tomorrow.
(2) Makeda has a new health issue which her GP can't figure out and we're off to see her pediatrician tomorrow. More details to follow. I'm hopeful it's not serious but it never feels good when one doctor throws up her hands and says (at least she's honest) that she has no clue and she'll get M into a specialist asap.
(3) My adoption agency just declared bankruptcy. I don't know what this means for my file although since I did not yet have my referral, I am not anticipating that it will be finalized. While the money is insignificant next to that loss, since Imagine was kind enough to require all funds up front, I am fairly certain that I will never recover a cent of the $20,000 I've spent to date. I also know that this financial fact will prevent many other prospective parents from being able to pursue their dream of a child. I certainly can't start over.
(4) While considering these things on the way back from M's doctor's appointment, I failed to pay sufficient attention to the post that jumped out at me and now have a pending car repair as well.

I'm (sort of) (trying) to keep a sense of humour - I think I've earned all the bad news possible for what - at least a year??? Here's looking at you 2010.

On a much more serious note, please join me in sending prayers to all those Imagine Adoption clients that were much further along in the process than I was, and hope that they receive all possible assistance to bring their children home. The Imagine website has give no information at all about whether adoptions in progress will be completed and if so, how, and in what timeframe. We will all be waiting day to day for more information. Please share whatever you hear!

Notice Anything New?!?

2009-06-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

That's right people... we're riding the rollercoaster. And by "we" I mean that this time I have pending new sister Makeda on my waiting team. C'mom l'il sister! We're excited already!

Crappy Croup Update

2009-06-23T21:48:00.001-07:00

Thanks for the emails - here's a brief update before I dash to catch sleep while it's available. I think we're in week 7 now. That must be a new record. Not inspiring are the words of her (more than 1) ENT specialists who have all declared they've never seen anything like this and don't know how to fix it. Basically, the 'roids help, but never completely solve the problem. So, life is comprised of trips to the ER for a quick fix and, more recently, a bigger dose followed by 2 weeks on a puffer. The last big dose does seem to have successfully diminished (but not eliminated) the cough, making longer stretches of sleep possible for both mommy and baby. It's only over the past 3 days or so that her breathing has stabilized at night sufficiently that I'm not waking up every hour or more. Sadly, the additional sleep seems to mean I'm off my adrenaline rush, and so I seem to be more tired now than when I waking up 8 or so times a night! The point of all this is that there is an underlying cause - something is causing the endless croup encores, but no one knows what it is. The only way to find out for sure is to scope her. But she can't be scoped until her breathing is back to normal, since she can't be anesthetized while there's any swelling in her throat. So, we have a catch 22, which is hopefully what 2 weeks of puffer will resolve. We're wrapping up week 1, however, and while she's much improved, it ain't over. Without making myself crazy from a bunch of googling worse case scenarios, the throat xray has confirmed there's no tumour, so we appear to be waiting for confirmation of either a cyst, a natural abnormal narrowness to her throat (which she'll have to grow out of), or something to do with her adenoids. Time will tell. In the meantime, she continues to be my good natured little angel, albeit one that wakes up at 4am from a cough, and then proceeds to sing loudly in her crib for a full hour while I lie awake in bed alternating between thankfulness that if she can sing, she can breathe, and a desire to [fill in the blank - you know you all can - you've been there too], so I can get some sleep.

Makedaversary Part Deux

2009-06-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well, of the 3 parties planned, eventually one of them came about, mostly to ensure that the party dress actually made an appearance. Here's my little princess in all her pink glory, and another one with the rest of the kids playing on the bed with minimal adult supervision while the rest of us partied...

IAMASLUT Part Deux

2009-06-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

Just got around to downloading some of our lovely pics from our recent conference and thought I'd share...

IAMASLUT Inaugural Convention

2009-06-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

I am a little remiss in my posting but yes, Miss M did recover sufficiently for me to escape to San Fransisco with these lovely ladies...

and we had a BLAST! A number of topics were covered, none of which by any stretch would enable any of us to write off the trip, convention or not. However, since all topics could not be adequately covered to our satisfaction, we have tentatively scheduled IAMASLUT* Part deux in Vancouver for the 2010 Olympics. Any wannabee members out there - get your applications in quickly - the number of available rooms in my home is dwindling quickly and we need to reserve our speedskating tickets. Plus, you have to be screened and approved by our founding member, the lovely Tasha and, as you her followers well know, that likely entails a full rectal examination. Be quick.

Miss M's recovery continues, slowly and painfully. The cooler air at her grandparents' place last weekend helped speed the recovery, which was promptly set back again by the suffocating air in her own bedroom, once I was back home. Temperatures are supposed to decrease a bit over the next few days, so hopefully that would help.

AND, on a completely different topic, my Baby A file has successfully transferred from Beautiful BC to the bailout capital of Canada, aka Toronto, where it awaits some final stamps and will begin its journey to Addis in approximately 10 days. Stay tuned and watch out for another lilypie baby to make an appearance.

*International Adoption Mothers Association - Single Lovely Unique Talented

New Party Trick

2009-05-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well, the croup saga continues, now placing my upcoming San Francisco weekend in jeopardy (more on that later). And, I'm not really complaining - shit happens and frankly, Makeda is the one who's actually suffering here, not me. But anyway, we went for another checkup to the pediatrician yesterday, and he sent us back to the hospital for an impromptu meeting with an ENT specialist. It was a long morning, and Makeda was not inclined to wake from her nap once she'd settled into the car seat. So I slung her over my shoulder like the 26 lb sack of potatoes that she is, and managed to check her in at Admissions, go back to the car for the diaper bag, and then into the ENT waiting room, all without waking her up. I sat next to the fishtank in the hopes that the burbling would keep her asleep. The burbling was very effective, especially to one sad little mom who has not slept more than 2 hours straight in over a week and is now also carrying a 26 lb sack of potatoes. We were wakened by the specialist standing over us asking us if we'd like a few more minutes to nap before we came into his office.

Anyway, the end result is that croup sucks and can last forever and there's nothing he can do and there's no point in drugging Makeda further (her mother - that's another matter). Also known as the diagnosis of "suck it up". But my point to all this was that I have turned into a farm animal. I have successfully napped in the upright position with a baby slung over my shoulder - without dropping her. This continues my successful record of not dropping her, even once, which I think is one of the slamdunk signs of being a good mother. Next month - sleeping while standing up. It can be done, I'm sure...

Happy Makedaversary! Without the Bells and Whistles

2009-05-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

Also known as the weekend that wasn't. For the second time in a row actually, since my 5 star weekend at ShuttersontheBeach the previous weekend got truncated so I could jet home to my croupy child (American Airlines generously agreed to fly me out of LA Saturday night at the last minute on their last available seat for only (gasp! what a deal! US$2100)). Common sense prevailed and I flew out on the 7am Sunday morning on Air Canada instead for a $175 change fee. That was just the beginning. Over the last 7 days there's been 3 trips to emergency and 24 hours in residence at Children's hospital. 3 homecoming anniversary parties cancelled. I haven't slept more than 2 hours consecutively in over a week. I don't know which is worse - what I've just described - or the fact that Pierce Brosnan was staying at our hotel and no matter how many hours I spent drinking in the lounge, I couldn't manage to "bump into him". Somebody throw me a bone...

Happy Belated Birthmother's Day Fozia

2009-05-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Habeshachild, I have a new occasion to bookmark. Apparently, the day before Mother's Day is Birthmom Day. I love that. Even I cannot forget something that falls the day before the world's biggest hallmark holiday. Not that I need to set a day aside to remember Fozia. She's never far from my thoughts.

I've spoken of Fozia before. I don't have a lot to add. She's smart. She's funny. She's the bravest person I know. There's a picture of us together in Makeda's bedroom. I'm not going to post it on the internet, but if you're at my place, I'd be happy to introduce you. This is her, holding Makeda and saying goodbye. Someday I'll reunite them.

I hope she's safe. I hope she still believes she made the right decision. I hope she's receiving my pictures. And in two years or so, when I travel again to bring home Makeda's little sister, I hope to see her again.

Happy Birthmom's Day Fozia.

xox

You Know I Don't Like to Brag But...

2009-05-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

Is she frickin' cute or what?!?. Enjoy.

Countdown...

2009-04-30T22:00:00.001-07:00

Well, not really. More like countdown to the countdown. Homestudy is finished, forms notarized, applicable letters written. So who's holding things up??? That would be me! Just finalizing that photo album and then we're off to the races (again).

Because I Don't Have Enuf On My Plate, That's Why

2009-04-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

Recently, I made the career enhancing, social life crippling/sleep depriving, decision to serve, at the pleasure of the Board, as a member of the CFA Institute's Disciplinary Review Committee. This entails serving on hearing panels which review the professional conduct of holders of the CFA designation (or aspirants thereto). Since the entire world, apparently, revolves around the EST timezone, and all hearings are held at 8:30am EST, for me out here in Lotus land, that means 5:30am hearings. No, that is not a typo. That is a.m., not p.m. Furthermore, this is not a revenue producing gig. I am serving my CFA profession gratis. So, imagine my delight at finding out that the semi-annual in-person meeting is.... here. Check it out. AND, I'm stayin' on for the weekend, after the conference. C'mon. Admit it. You were laughing at me but now you're jealous. Just a little bit.

On a completely different topic, Miss M and I crossed the border on Sunday and went to La Connor, Wash. to tiptoe through the tulips with her grandparents and cousin Jenna.

And later this week, I have something very special for y'all. So stay tuned.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2009-04-22T20:59:00.001-07:00

No, not mine. Mine is definitely not speaking in full sentences. My boss' child, however, now HE is speaking in full sentences. And they're good sentences. The kind that issue forth from a precocious 8 year old. Spence came to work to stay with daddy for awhile yesterday.

Me: Hey Spence, got anything good to tell me about your dad?
Spence (after some serious thought): Yeah, I got something. The look of the devil child crossed his face. I knew this would be good.
Me: Whatcha got?
Spence: My daddy doesn't sleep in his pj's at night. He sleeps in his underwear.
Me: Wow! That is waaayyy too much information, but thanks.

Then I told his assistant, who also thought it was way too much information, but thought it worthwhile to pass around. I know payback's a bitch, but Makeda will have nothing useful for sometime to come and I figure by then I'll be working somewhere else.

Watch Me in Action - New and Brilliant Dating Tactics

2009-04-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

The other week, when my homestudy SW ran out of questions to ask me regarding my views on parenting (said views being abundantly clear, apparently, based upon the pets and small children running amok through the living room as we conducted my interview), we digressed to the more interesting (and important) issue of How to Meet Men in Vancouver. I'd actually given up on this some time ago, but being more recently single herself, she clearly had more energy and ideas than I did, and was only too happy to share. I'd been there, done that, on most of her ideas, but found one of them rather intriguing - an agency by the name of "Hearts" - a highly customized dating service which operates in various city centres across Canada. Now, I'd considered this some years ago, but on the advice of a good friend - "Barb, really, what real man is going to hire an agency called "Hearts"" - I set off down numerous different paths instead. Until now. See, like me, my SW is cheap. And Hearts is not cheap. But, Hearts IS in the business of finding soulmates for its paying clients. And to do that, they need volume. And for volume, they need to go to the masses. Which is where I come in. I can go onto the Hearts website and email my specs in the hopes that they find me palatable enough to set up with one of their paying clients. Free for me and I'd meet a bunch of the men I'd meet anyway if I paid them for the match. Genius? I think so too. I sent my email. Even included a couple of pics. And?

Silence. Great. Now I don't just get ignored by actual men, I get ignored by the agencies who represent them in general. Mass rejection. I love it.

Finally, today, I receive from Hearts....

a print advertisement. Heavily personalized by inserting "Barbara" after "Dear" in a completely different font from the rest of the form letter which proceeds to tout their general matchmaking service. I tell you, nothing says "You Are Good Enough for Our Clients" like a font mongrel form letter. Oh well, back to the drawing board...

Little Sista Update

2009-04-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a busy time recently for me, with lots of travel, both with and without Miss M. Much wine has been passed. And that was only one night's worth. But I'm back now for a few weeks. And I thought y'all might appreciate a diversion from Miss M to talk about her little sister. It's all moving along quite quickly actually. I suffered from a considerable lack of motivation in January which was when I decided to start pushing paper again. Just staring at that stack of "to do's" and "to collects" froze me in my tracks. I was exhausted just looking at it. But, I jumped back in in February, and now, HOLY CRAP, it's pretty much all done. Medicals, done, criminal checks, finito, homestudy, all over. Suddenly, it's me holding things up. I need my backyard shrubs to start blooming so my MOWA photo album doesn't look like I have corpses for plants. Photos of death are not going to win me any points on my quest for a second child. But, that's it! One more month tops, and it's time cut the - ouch - big cheque. You know, the one in US dollars, that I have to cut when our exchange rate has just hit bottom. I'd say at worst, my file should be in Ethiopia by June. Then I can stick my cheery little ticker tape up at the top and wait it out again with the rest of ya!

How to Make Friends and Influence Regulators

2009-03-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

We've all been on the receiving end of one or more of those inadvertant "Reply All" emails, and have probably sent one or two ourselves. I for one enjoy them immensely, as they are (1) generally unflattering of me and (2) copied to numerous people, thereby increasing the humiliation of the sender 10-fold when their error is uncovered. Of course, if there is any chance of that error remaining uncovered, I blow that possibility to hell by hitting the "Reply All" myself, in response.

Here is the most recent (and possibly the most cherished) email faux pas of which I have been both victim (indirectly) and witness. A little background: The securities commissions in Canada undertake reviews of public disclosure of Canadian companies and communicate with them regarding any deficiencies on a regular basis. If the company is also listed on a Canadian stock exchange, the stock exchange is copied on the correspondence. Recently, one of the commissions sent such a letter to a company listed on our exchange, and copied us on it, as per usual. One of the company's officials promptly responded to the issues raised, and then copied his fellow directors and the company's legal counsel on his response. He also copied the securities commission in question, and several exchange officials, including myself (all of which was done intentionally). One of the company's directors who had been copied on the response then hit "Reply All" to provide some further editorial on the matter, to his fellow directors. He failed to appreciate that his colleague's original response had been directed to the various regulators, as well as to the directors/lawyers. Thus, the response was circulated to a great many people it ought not to have been. The content was as follows (all names changed to protect the idiots).

"Chuck, I have found with the exchange that when they are wrong (and in my experience it is often) they need to be told in no uncertain terms as long as the response is sincere and not too degrading to them. My rapport with the exchange has always been based on the principle that they work for me as well as shareholders and if they err, they should be informed for everyone's benefit. I've also noticed in one instance that when they decided to try to bully me I stood fast and, like all bullies, they backed down. I support your response Chuck and am sure it will have the desired effect. Tom"

Now, firstly, I had no idea that I reported to so many people. Thousands of you, by the looks of it. So, in light of that, please feel free to lob any additional critiques or suggestions my way. Secondly, it's my job, under the appropriate circumstances, to kick people out of the marketplace. Could stupidity be a sound reason for me to do this? And by that, I'm not limiting "stupidity" to hitting "Reply All" to a bunch of regulators, but also to the fact that the Exchange didn't actually write the letter in question. Lastly, nothing warms the cockles of a regulator's cold black heart quite like being called a bully. We thrive on it. We really do. Keep it coming. I'm sure it will have "the desired effect".

My response, you ask?

I hit my own "Reply All" with "Thanks for sharing Tom. Feedback is always appreciated." Funny, I never heard anything back. Seemed he got his itchy "Reply" finger under control.

Silly Pet Tricks

2009-03-05T21:05:00.001-08:00

ok, ok, I've been remiss, but I have very little to say these days. Here's the star of the show.

Croup Be Gone

2009-02-01T20:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes as I struggle with the whole single parenting thing, I really do have reason to believe there's someone looking after me. Balancing the whole executive career thing with child in general is tough, but toss in some travel requirements and unexpected long days and watch those multitasking/organizational skills blossom. However, stuff generally tends to work out. Earlier this week, I was in New York on business, followed by Toronto. I knew that Makeda had acquired a bad cold while I was away, but there seemed to be nothing significant about it. I took an early flight back from Toronto so I would get home before she went to bed, Tuesday night. I arrived home at about 7:00pm and unfortunately, due to the cold, she had passed out early. I logged onto the computer at home, baby monitor at hand. By about 7:30, something didn't seem right with the noise I was hearing. I grabbed her out of the crib and it was obvious she was having some trouble breathing. Off to emergency we go. Breathing difficulties come and go - as long as I keep her sitting up, she mostly does ok. Five hours later, finally get a doctor. Diagnosed with croup ("oops" says the doctor, she should have been fasttracked, I wonder why the nurses didn't do that). Moments later, on steroids, no oxygen required yet but she's not allowed to leave. Five more hours later, allowed to go back home. By now it's 5am. Write off the remainder of the day (which, unbelievably, only consisted of 2 hours of easy to ditch meetings - an absolute rarity these days) while I hover over her as she sleeps most of the day. The cough starts. I know it hurts her. She sounds like a little seal, but there's nothing I can give her, other than some children's tylenol. Slow, steady recovery with that ever-constant smile on her face. By today, she was almost completely recovered, which is apparently just going to happen in time for my Wednesday flight to Portland for a conference. See? It's magic.

And did I mention she managed to keep that smile on her face? Here's today's photo op.

Breaking the Bank

2009-01-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

Let me first say that, since I didn't buy anything for myself, I count that as staying within my allotted $0 budget. I also have to correct the popular misconception that there's some sort of recession going on down in the States. Having seen Wall Street up close and personal, and having witnessed the dearth of sales in SoHo and Midtown, I can attest that apparently all is well and good in the U.S of A. Seriously - 2 hours in Bergdorf's and we walked out without a thing. Although in that particular store, it wasn't the lack of a sale, it was bearing witness to the carnage left behind from several thousand post-Christmas shoppers who had picked the place clean.

Deigning to leave town empty-handed, I trotted over to (mmmmm) Tiffany's. I think I could be a Tiffany girl with a little practice if only I could find a walking wallet to call my own. Until that day (and he) arrives, I unfortunately must continue, for the most part, to windowshop. But not entirely. Ever since Makeda arrived, I've been thinking about what kind of trinket I'd like to pass on to her. And I finally decided. Meet the Tiffany charm bracelet, together with charm #1, a cupcake for my cupcake. I'm going to add one charm each year as a stocking stuffer, hopefully finding a charm that represents something special or otherwise representative of that past year. The idea will be that she can take custody of something that I hope will reflect her life (so far) with me, when she turns Sweet 16. I also hope to start the same tradition when her little sister arrives on the scene. I guess that means I'm not quitting my day job any time soon.

New York City on a Shoestring Budget

2009-01-21T20:37:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow a.m. I leave for New Yawk City. This is not a boondoggle - it is a legitimate biz trip. It does, however, involve a work colleague from the Centre of the Universe who enjoys her shoes as much as I do. So, I anticipate being able to shop vicariously through her on Sunday, before our meetings start on Monday. Why vicariously, you ask? How is it that I, professional shoe shopper, could possibly satisfy my "urges" tagging along behind somebody else? Put quite simply, plumbing. Not mine, personally, but plumbing that I own and must now repair. $5000 worth in fact. That's just the start. Inadequate drainage systems not only create flood opportunities, but apparently also cause the wooden aspects of 1926 structures to, you guessed it, rot. Ergo, major infrastructure upgrades over the next few months. Let's say $10,000 or so to start to plug the dyke (this is really all starting to sound quite rude, isn't it?) with sky's the limit potential from there.

Anyway, back to New Yawk. I need cheap things to do. Asap actually, since my flight leaves tomorrow. I'll try and coax Eleanor into paying for my street vendor hotdog, but I also need cheap entertainment. I'm staying in the Financial District where I suppose I could gaze for awhile at the tanks and machine guns surrounding the Stock Exchange premises, but that will grow old pretty quick. So, all suggestions welcome. In the meantime, enjoy these - we've been blanketed in fog for the last 19 days. It finally lifted this afternoon. These are a couple of pics of the city taken while we were fogged in.

Math Sucks

2009-01-14T20:56:00.000-08:00

This morning, the bike dude came to take my toy away for the winter. As I waved good-bye, I recalled the day, several months ago, when nasty auntie judy was with me in the garage, watching as she rolled a finger lightly over the seat of the ducati, looked at me with a sly little smile and said "hmmm, lookin' a little dusty". So I thought I'd undertake a cost/benefit analysis relating to the merits of my little hobby, with the following results:

Kilometres rung up during 2008 riding season: approx 500 km
Cost to store and insure during 2007 offseason: approx $600
Cost to insure during 2008 riding season: approx $600
Depreciation incurred during 2008 riding season: approx $2000
Fuel: inconsequential

Cost per kilometre: $6.40

Size of the smile on face during every one of those kilometres...

PRICELESS!!!

still not selling it

Don't worry baby, I'll see you in the spring! Mama loves you! Stay warm!

I've Got the Golden Ticket

2009-01-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

As you surely must know, Vancouver is hosting the 2010 winter olympic games. Since the tickets were anticipated to be in high demand, a lottery system was developed where you could request event tickets on-line. If your name was drawn, your Visa would instantly be charged an exhorbitant fee, and at some later date you would be notified by email that you'd won something. Of course, you had to do a secret log-in to find out what exactly you'd won. And of course, said website promptly went down for some period of time as 100,000 people tried to access it simultaneously. Eventually, I got sick of trying to log in to see whether I'd won any of my ticket choices. I have a "go big or go home" philosophy, so I only put myself in the draw for women's and men's gold medal hockey. Plus, I figured that if I elected to skip the whole debacle and rent my house out for that two weeks whilst escaping to a warmer clime, a furnished house WITH gold medal game tickets might just be enough to get me to the Bahamas.

Anyhoo, today I tried once again to log in, and this time, with the other 100,000 applicants having now completed their own logins, I finally succeeded. An' guess whoze goin' (with the bff of her choice) to see .....

THE WIMMENFOLK!!! Best seats in the house! I am either in for so much fun, or so much money. la la la. HOW many bff's do i have? Probably a whole separate lottery worth.

Doin' my happy dance.

Belated Christmas Pics

2008-12-29T21:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, Santa stopped here

This stocking was too heavy to be hung with care

Required mama reading

Oh the noise we will make!

Christmas pj's

With Tessie and favorite toy, the remote control

Dinner at the grandparents

First taste of pumpkin pie

With gramma

xox hope everyone had a merry christmas!!

You WILL Pay Attention to Me. I Am Your Mother.

2008-12-25T22:38:00.000-08:00

There has always been a Christmas tradition at my house that the children are read "The Night Before Christmas", on Christmas Eve. This year, there was only one available child, and she is not yet so inclined to sit still for that long. But I perservered. Even though I only got through 2 pages in my lovely singsong voice, after which I had to speedread. She started squirming by page 3 and although I successfully fought her off for awhile, I eventually had no choice but to put on the chokehold. We didn't make it to the end. Here is the sequence of events, as captured by auntie judy.

And a couple of more pics of our lovely evening.

I Had a Dream

2008-12-21T21:20:00.000-08:00

I've been out of love with my computer lately, hence the lack of posting. So I'm a day late with this, but it seemed worth a post. This is the first picture I ever got of Makeda, received way back on December 20, 2007. I was in Toronto on business, and it arrived at about noon, Toronto time. I remember the time well as I was running around the office like a maniac looking for someone, anyone, to tell, and everyone was out doing last minute Christmas shopping and actually taking lunches for once.

For all of you out there who read a lot into your dreams, think about this, and keep dreaming - I received my referral just a couple of hours after I emailed my mom to tell her that I'd had a dream the previous night that my referral would arrive that day, and that her birthdate was October 24th. Turns out I missed the birthday by a week, but I sure nailed the day.

Who is this skinny minnie? But I sure know those lips and eyes...

Oh the Shame

2008-12-12T21:43:00.001-08:00

And yet, he calls it likes he sees it!

I Never Thought It'd Be THIS Bad!

2008-12-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

This time last year I thought I'd check out a new internet dating service (well, not new, but one that I hadn't tried yet) called Plentyoffish. And let me say that I had a pretty damn good response rate. Sort of. Volume was high, but I only found 2 guys that I was willing to date and I only agreed to one of them because he was so damn persistent and what girl doesn't like a guy who really shows he's interested? But the volume was impressive. Then I left it to focus on Makeda's then pending arrival, and now I thought, since Tessie is settled in, perhaps I should examine the possibility of getting a dating life back again. So, back on I went. Now, there was no doubt that my single mom profile was not going to be quite as attractive as my previous one. So I put an extra good picture up (get your minds out of the gutter people - I'm on the "long-term relationship" part of the site) and waited to see what would happen. I waited. And then I thought perhaps people don't log on on the weekends anymore. So I'll just be patient. Then I waited some more. And more. And then - whoo hoo - there was ONE! He hadn't included a picture, which is fairly bad form, I think, since I went to the trouble to post one. So I asked him to include a pic. Unfortunately, the guy's a total smartass. This was the picture he sent.

So I played along, ha ha aren't you a funny boy, and clarified that I wanted the picture of him, not the latest GQ coverboy. So he sent this.

Still a smartass. So I gave up. That must a new plentyoffish sign-up and bail out record.

What's in a Name

2008-11-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

I first ran across Makeda's name in Melissa Fay Greene's book "There is No Me Without You". It felt right, immediately. I held onto it, shared it with a few people, but didn't commit until I'd seen her dear face and knew without a doubt that this was her name. There were a few others I kept tucked away, one of which in particular really resonated with me. While the name was beautiful, it was the translation that really stole my heart. Since Makeda has two middle names, you might think that I saved this name as her middle name. But I didn't. I never had a doubt that this second name belonged to a separate soul - one that I had yet to be joined with.

So, here starts my next adventure. The first of the forms has been filed and I've officially begun my journey to Baby A. This will be a longer journey, probably closer to two years. Which I guess makes me an elephant. But at the end - a beautiful baby girl - Makeda's little sister.

And Time Goes By...

2008-11-10T20:47:00.000-08:00

A lifetime ago, it seems, I wrote this. And now, almost six months have passed since I brought Makeda home, and it's time, once again, to honour my committment to her birthmom. Here's the pics I've assembled to send to her, in order. From the first unassisted sit, to the first stand, you've come a long way baby!

Much love, Fozia! Enjoy!

Look Who's One!!

2008-11-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

The official day was November 3, but we had a wee party on the Sunday. Poor kid - the entire time she was eating I had a flashbulb in her face - but the results were worth it. And, she stood up and cruised for the first time, right on the big day. I also took her for her one year check up, and she has grown 8 centimetres in the past 2.5 months. She's now 80cm (32 inches) tall, and in the 90th percentile for height. Yikes! She's starting to look like a toddler!

Damn Yankees - Don't Screw it up This Time!

2008-11-03T21:06:00.000-08:00

Don't let this be you. Again.

You blew it in 2000 and again in 2004. An apology just won't be good enough this time. We may invade you. At a minimum, you will incur the wrath of Barb, for wasting her donkey party memorabilia.

Yes, that's right. Me and 20 or so of my closest friends with nothing better to do than watch another country's election, will be partying with the donkey. These same accessories, while retailing at Target for US$3.99, were imported by me, at precisely the moment that the Cdn $ blew back under $.80US, thus costing me approximately Cdn $102. Take pity on me. Don't wreck the party. Vote for Obama.

Tattoos and Other Insects

2008-10-29T21:32:00.000-07:00

Some years ago I decided I wanted a tattoo. A ladybug to be exact. This announcement was greeted by friends and family with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. One friend was slightly more helpful, recommending this as a potential candidate:

Her logic was that the tattoo could grow older with me until eventually, when I was 80, I would be sporting a raisin. The idea didn't grab hold, and I stuck with the ladybug. The problem was, I could never find just the right ladybug. No matter how many tattoo books I looked through and how many web pages I searched, I could never find the right amount of cuteness. Until today. Today I found the world's cutest ladybug. This is her:

Happy Hallowe'en!!!

Don't Mess With Gramma

2008-10-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

This is my mother in 20 years. Listen to the woman behind the camera giggle!

My Hero!

Pay Attention PAPs!

2008-10-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

A little treat passed along by Makeda's Auntie Gayle. Remember, if you need any practice, I get first dibs!

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the newspaper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breast feeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behaviour.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favourite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Mama!

2008-10-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

As you can see, she's more interested in the camera than idle chit chat, but I forced it out of her.

And here is my cutie all decked out for turkey dinner.

Scam Alert

2008-10-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, just wanted to bring to your attention a scam that I fell for, so that you don't fall for it. I received this email a few weeks ago that my nephew had won this drumming contest put on by Hedley (great Canadian rock band) and that I should head out to Surrey on Saturday to meet up with the rest of my family, and we would all be allowed in the sound room to listen to them rehearse and watch a short charity concert where my nephew would be drumming with them. This seemed a VERY big deal, so I dropped my plans, packed up Miss Makeda in the truck, and headed out. This is her, practicing her hand clapping in the car seat, decked out in her hip hop gear.

So, we arrive, very punctually so as not to miss the limo departure. And... it was a SCAM!!! There was no contest, no prize winning nephew, and NO HEDLEY! It was a surprise party. For some unmentionable birthday that is occurring in the fairly near future. Did I mention that I had done my hair? Put on eye shadow? Worn proper black concert attire? I was ready (and presentable) to rock out with some 25 year old boys. And what did I get for my efforts? Their latest CD.

Anyway, I was whisked away to the spa, followed by a family dinner. This is the finished product.

Then we went out for Greek food in White Rock. We're not much for pictures and none of us is a very good photographer, so this is all the evidence I have that there was a party. This is me and my mom.

Anyway, I had a great day. But DON'T BE FOOLED. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!!

That's It That's All

2008-09-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's over. 145 days. Of total, uncomplicated bliss. Spent with the most perfect human being I've ever met. Yes, my leave of absence is over. Tomorrow is back to work. The nanny panic has finally been resolved. Today I welcomed Tessie into my home. While Tessie's childcare qualifications are impeccable, she had me at " **good cook" handwritten at the top of her application. And so, the next phase begins. Slowly though. I'll work from home as well as the office for the first couple of weeks while Tessie and Makeda get to know each other. And then back at full throttle.

I'm sad... :(

This Week in Pictures

2008-09-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

Jailbird

Maybe I Should Increase Her Portion Size

Celebrating the Little Things

2008-09-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

We've all met THOSE moms. The ones that can't stop going on about their little ones' achievements. The ones that insist their son/daughter was walking in the womb. Since I'm a little type A myself, I've been determined not to get caught in that trap. I want to enjoy my time home with Makeda and let her learn at her own pace, rather than pushing her too fast. And sometimes, with adopted kids, they can be a little behind in their development. So I've been (I think) really patient with Makeda, not pushing her beyond her abilities, even though she's not always been on my type A schedule.

Sure, we've had our setbacks and disappointments. It can be frustrating when she doesn't pick up on things as fast as I'd like her to. But even though her accomplishments might not match those of other kids her age, there's no doubt she's been making progress since we arrived back home. I try to reocognize her successes, however small. So I thought it appropriate to take a blog entry to celebrate the small achievements that my sweet, type B daughter has made, over the past few months, without judgment, or comparisons against other 10 month olds. Here we go.

As of today, Makeda can do the following:

1. Advanced calculus. I know this has a been a disappointment, particularly to Grampa, since there's no doubt he expected her to have mastered at least simple regression analysis by now. We haven't given up though. Tutoring starts soon.

2. Break and throttle the Ducati. You'll notice I don't claim that she can shift gears, and that's where real co-ordination comes in. I'm worried this is a further sign of delayed development, but the fact that her legs are only 10 inches long could also be factor. I'm trying to be open to that possibility.

3. Track and field. I'm really proud of her hurdling efforts but high jump has been a complete failure so far. Coming from a die-hard track and field family, this has been particularly hard on all of us. We're trying to cope. Pray for us.

4. She's recently started reading the bedtime story to me. I'll be honest, I've been devasted that I'm still reading to her. Early literacy is critical, and we've really been practicing. Thankfully, on this, she hasn't disappointed.

Well, that summarizes most of her tricks. I know it's not much, but like I said, we're just trying to relax over here.

Who's Stoopider? Mommy versus the Pups

2008-09-20T21:24:00.000-07:00

There's been waayyy too much excitement around my little household lately. First Widget found a wasp nest (promply fleeing, with wasps attached, inside through the back door), and now this. It's around 9:30 last night. Both dogs are sitting at the back door, wanting to go out. I don't usually do this. There's skunks, coyotes and raccoons in my neighborhood and while the first would be a bit of nastiness, neither dog would survive a run-in with the last two. But both dogs were sitting patiently and quietly, which they would not be if anything was running around out there, so I opened the door and let them out.

Big mistake. Little bastards tricked me, big time. No sooner was the door opened then they both bolted out, barking at the top of their little lungs, racing towards the bushes. There was nothing I could do but watch and hope it was just a cat. It wasn't. Widget ran into the bush and started fighting with whatever was there. I could see some flashes of fur and hear the noises, but that was all. Ruff stayed near the bottem of the stairs initially, but then bolted in to join the fray. Suddenly all of them popped back out, and I was relieved a bit, as it seemed to be a cat. But then it stopped and looked up at me for a second and I realized it was a raccoon. A juvenile, but a raccoon. It took off after Ruff and I was pretty sure that was it for him. The raccoon caught him and I heard a yelp. So I came down after them. In pajamas and flip flops. Making enough noise to stop the raccoon, who turned away from Ruff. Then I realized we had him surrounded and he was looking for an escape route. He found me. I had an instant to decide whether to try and kick him, or jump over him. Remembering the flip flops and bare legs, I opted for the latter. He scooted under me and took off.

I looked at both dogs. There was blood on both of them, but they were moving. After close inspection, it appeared the blood wasn't actually theirs. It was on their fur, but didn't seem to be coming from them. There's no way either could draw blood from a raccoon, so they may have caught it mid-meal. Both were pretty shook up. I gave them each a bath to get the raccoon drool off them and check for any cuts. Ruff got away clean, but Widget had some scratches and a cut under his nose. I have no idea how they pulled this off, but I do know if it had been an adult, they'd both be dead.

Like typical adolescent males, once the initial shock and cuddling was over, they went into high bravado mode, chasing each other around the house barking, practically high-fiving each other to celebrate the great raccoon chase-off. I settled for a verrrrrryyyyyyyy generous pour.

A Gift to My American Followers

2008-09-15T19:44:00.001-07:00

I've noticed that the content of a few of the blogs I follow has been getting a little political these past few days. For all of them, a little fun from the one, the only, the brilliant, Jon Stewart.

This is How We Roll

2008-09-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

So, I finally sucked it up and went out of town with Makeda. You know, a pack the bags, drive 5 hours, rent a cabin, see how it all goes kind of thing. Luckily, Auntie Leslie was willing to come along. We've been vacationing together for years now - generally spa weekends. It started out just the two of us, became 3 when I added Ruff, became 5 when I added Widget and she added Riley, and became 6 when Makeda arrived. And I discovered what I already really knew - it's not a vacation when you have a small child, it's just a change of scenery.

It went really well actually. Makeda slept in her car seat a lot of the way there and back. We had lunch at 2 different wineries with nary a squawk of protest from her. She was happy to be in her stroller when we went for walks around the property. The only thing is - in my world, vacations are for sleeping in. That is my firmly held belief. And much as I love my daughter, 5:30am is not a sleep-in. To make things worst, although she has always slept through the night since I brought her home, she's now stopped doing it. For the past week, she has woken up between midnight and 4am, with the last few nights settling at 3 to 3:30am. Have I mentioned that I have no significant other to trade off with me on this bit of nastiness? And this is not a wake-up, accept a soft word and a kiss from mommy, go back to sleep kind of waking up. This is a full-on- ready-to-party wake up that even an hour of rocking will not resolve. Complete with chatter mode, at high volume. And it carried on, throughout said vacation. Rock her from 3:30 to at least 4:30, get back to sleep in time for the 5:30 bottle call.

Auntie Leslie is a patient woman, and I did my best to keep her occupied so as to lessen the chatter volume, with some success, but at the cost of almost no sleep for me. Which brings me back to my first point - it's not a vacation, just a change of scenery. But on balance, one that I'd do again. Here we are starting off. You can't see all the dogs, but this is Auntie Leslie tucking in Makeda in the middle, with Ruff and Widget sharing the left seat, and Riley in the right seat.

Meet Carrot

2008-09-01T21:15:00.001-07:00

Well, we finally have mobility. It started with throwing out the arms at an unreachable object and then dragging both legs to catch up, followed shortly afterwards by real (albeit frankensteinish) crawling. What, you may ask, precipitated this wondrous milestone? Was it mommy, waving and clapping her hands like an idiot, urging Makeda on? Perhaps a favourite toy, purchased by one of Makeda's loving family or friends? Of course not. It was carrot. Stinky, crusty carrot. Cherished first dog toy of dear Ruff. Noseless, and largely hairless after 6 years of constant use and abuse (carrot, not Ruff). But it did the job. A close second in the movement enticement category was my crackberry. In fact, she showed real hustle when that was up for grabs. And, I have to say, that's the best use I've seen that little piece of communications equipment put to yet.

Once Bit Twice Shy

2008-08-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

Poor Auntie Mare. Ever the good sport, she volunteered to babysit on my first Friday night out since I brought Makeda home. She was good (foolish) enough to also volunteer for the following night, which was my first Saturday night out. Miss M, however, in an apparent attempt to sabotage mommy's social life, gave Auntie a rough time, tossing her cookies not once, but twice. Auntie Mare was a good sport and agreed to come back for the Saturday shift, but not without full protection. Luckily M was already in bed by then and Auntie Mare was able to take all that rubber home and put it to better use!

To Be or Not to Be... A Monkey

2008-08-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

Here in Canada, we have a lovely tradition of calling cute things "monkey" (we also say 'eh' and we apologize a lot, but I digress). "Monkey" is most often used to refer to pets and/or small children and in fact, I've called my nieces, nephews and both dogs, "monkey" for years. But I've been struggling with it a bit since Makeda arrived. I even recently bypassed an adorable tshirt/yoga pant combo with both the word and picture "monkey" on it, in favour of the "sweet pea" version, even though the monkey outfit was cuter and a better colour. Once my shopping was impacted, I knew I had to give the matter more thought.

I expect if I used "monkey" to describe a cute black kid in the States, I'd be shot. Apparently, according to a recent returnee from the U.K., it's also an absolute no-no over there, although "cheeky monkey" is acceptable. So, what to do with Makeda?

Since she's arrived, I've noticed that people in her life have dealt with this issue in a few different ways. There's those that bite their lip mid-stream through the word and replace it with "peanut" or another substitute, those that have never used it when referring to her, and a third group that, whether intentionally, so as not to single her out, or simply out of ignorance of the potential sensitivity of the word, continue to use it. I don't object to any of these approaches. I know that the word is not racially charged up here, and I don't want people to feel they should treat her differently, when the pet name is clearly not a racial slur. For those who choose not to use it, I take that as a sign of respect and an effort not to offend, even though I expect they know that no offense will be taken.

Having said all that, I think this is a pretty big deal south of the border. I know I will consciously take it out of my vocabulary when I'm down in the States with her. But so far as general use goes, is this just an instance of "when in the States, do as the Americans do", but otherwise don't treat her any differently here at home? Or is this an issue of such sensitivity in some countries, that it does (or should) transcend borders, simply out of respect?

Inquiring minds (well at least one inquiring mind) want to know...

Somebody Doesn't Like Me Very Much

2008-08-09T14:58:00.001-07:00

Someone who I shall permit to remain anonymous (Porter) has tagged me with an annoying questionnaire apparently officially known as The Super Awesome Hot Mama Blogger (SAHMBOSS) award. It works as follows:

1. Answer annoying questionnaire
2. Choose 7 bloggers who I feel are super awesome hot mama bloggers and "give” them the SAHMBOSS award. They will post their own answers to the questionnaire on their own blog and they will choose 7 more recipients. So basically this amounts to no more than email chain letter torture.

Here is the questionnaire:

A. Attached or single? Single, and looking. (Although, if one more friend points out another good looking black man on the street and mutters "baby daddy, 11 o'clock" in my ear, I may just choose to remain single)
B. Best friend? See comment under "tagging", below.
C. Cake or pie? Definitely pie. Cherry pie.
D. Day of choice? Saturday
E. Essential item? My crackberry. No wait, that's pathetic. Plus, I change my answer to Makeda.
F. Favorite color? Blue
G. Gummy bears or worms? Hate 'em all. Gimme chocolate.
H. Hometown? Vancouver, BC
I. Indulgence? Way too many to list but they generally begin with a glass of good wine.
J. January or July? No contest. July.
K. Kids? 1 awesome daughter. 2 additional kids with fur coats.
L. Life isn’t complete without? Friends and family (including bloggy friends).
M. Marriage date? 12th anniversary would have been next Tuesday if it had ever come off
N. Number of brothers & sisters? 2 sisters
O. Oranges or apples? Apples - Pink Lady
P. Phobias? Dying in a plane crash or some other way where you see it coming and can't stop it.
Q. Quotes? Got none. I'm not that edumacated in the Arts.
R. Reasons to smile? My baby girl.
S. Season of choice? Fall
T. Tag seven peeps! (see below)
U. Unknown fact about me? Hey, I'm an open book.
V. Vegetable? Carrots. Used to eat them in sandwiches as a kid.
W. Worst habits? Potty mouth - although that's all in the eye of the beholder
X. X-ray or ultrasound? Huh?
Y. Your favorite food? Pizza (thin crust). French fries. And, being the white trash kind of gal I am, Kraft slices with miracle whip on white bread.
Z. Zodiac sign? Libra

Now here's the fun part. I’m tagging... drumroll please... NO ONE. Either I don't have seven friends, or I'm just taking pity on the ones that I have and saving them from the suffering imposed by questionnaires. You choose.

My Little Birdie

2008-08-04T19:26:00.000-07:00

It's not professional - it's not even pretty. But this is the best I can do. This is the noise Makeda has been making since the day I first met her. She used to be able to go on for hours, but it's been fading fast and now I think it's gone forever. I wanted to record it for her and it's a good thing I did since I've not heard it since I captured it last week. As you can see, it's a noise that seems to take a lot of effort...

Stalking: An Effective Networking Tool

2008-08-03T21:02:00.000-07:00

I guess around 10 months ago, I began looking for some adoption connections. Trolling for blogs seemed as good a start as any to meet more of my ilk. As a result of my efforts, I came across Mummyheart. After stalking her for a bit, I introduced myself, and we started exchanging emails. Turns out dear Haze is in Calgary, where I head a fair bit on business, and it wasn't long before we were hooking up on pretty much every trip. This past weekend, I was lucky enough to have her here, in beautiful Vancouver, as my guest. She got to hang with the lovely Makeda and meet friends and family, some of whom have also been following her journey to Myfanwy. At no time did we sing. Here we are at brunch with some of my posse.

And here we are with M in her hip hop gear teaching her all sorts of bad habits. It was a fabulous unforgettable weekend - over all too soon. Love ya Haze. See you soon.

Nursery Rhymes Schmursrey Rhymes

2008-07-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of the kiddie tunes. Pattycakes holds no thrills for me and I don't give a damn what the wheels on the bus are doing. M and I prefer to rock out to Jack FM with a few lyric swaps for good measure. For instance, Wintersleep's "Weighty Ghost" becomes "weighty toast" at breakfast time. This has the additional advantage of somewhat downplaying my horrid horrid singing voice.

So when Auntie Mare announced recently during one of our walks that she had learned a new tune called "A is for Apple" my enthusiasm did not know no bounds. Besides falling short of the Jack FM criteria, Makeda strikes me so far as a pretty big smartiepants, and songs about fruit or letters of the alphabet did not seem a sufficient nod to her intelligence. It was a long walk and there were three of us, so we put our heads together to come up with something that would please everyone. Before long we had a lively new tune called the "Cuss Song" and A now stands for A**hole. I'll leave the rest of the alphabet to your respective imaginations, but rest assured, we covered it all. 'nuf said.

Our Melting Pot Family

2008-07-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

Now, I think we all know that I'm the pastiest white girl around. But that's not true of all of the family. Today, cousin Michiko dropped by for a playdate with her 14 month old daughter Gemma. Michiko is one-half japanese, and Gemma is one-quarter japanese. And Makeda - well, we all know Makeda. So here is my beautiful melting pot family...

Oh c'mon, you didn't really think I'd leave my boys out did you???

Clear Skies Ahead

2008-07-22T20:51:00.000-07:00

Shower #3 has come and gone and I think a good time was had by all (including both dogs who not only ate all the kids meals when they weren't looking but had to be hosed down afterwards to get the ice cream cake out of their fur). Thanks to the lovely and talented aunties leslie, suze and judy for hosting (including the set up and clean up) and to everyone for the amazing food and wonderful gifts. The pictures are stored on several different cameras, so I know I'm missing some good shots, but here's what I had on mine:

The guest of honour (fab shot courtesy of Judy B)

Jessica, George, Einat, Aleks

Kristen and Auntie Leslie

Doug and the adorable Lily

With Auntie SuzeCyndi

Auntie Suze, John and his boys

Ice cream cake - yummy - in the colours of the Ethiopian flag

me me me

Thanks everyone again for joining me in the wonderful celebration that is Makeda!

This Week in Pictures

2008-07-17T10:05:00.001-07:00

With cousin SonyaBoozing with Grampa

In her little red dress, all the way from France. Thanks Marine!

Looking cool in Grampa's hat.

First time at the waterpark.

Lovin' Auntie Mare.

Duc'n it out

2008-07-11T21:36:00.001-07:00

Remember this?

Well, I barely do. Today, however, we got reacquainted, when Auntie Mare came over to do a little baby duty while I took my other baby out on the town. Well, out to the University Endowment Lands anyway. It was a glorious sunny day and I managed to briefly get it up to 150 on Southwest Marine Dr. before the (almost rush hour) traffic dragged me down. Then I -wait a minute - my mom reads this blog and she knows the speed limit on Southwest Marine Drive - let me try that again. It was a glorious sunny day and I cautiously manoeuvered my small not very powerful motorcycle onto Southwest Marine Drive, looking both ways at all the intersections, and momentarily hit 81 before regaining control of my senses and slowing to no more than 50, tops.

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmm good. Thanks Auntie Mare.

Judgement Day

2008-07-05T14:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the social worker visit which will serve as the basis for writing a report on my worthiness as a parent, and sent back to the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's Affairs. Now, I actually like my social worker. After all, she recommended me as a suitable parent - this, notwithstanding that on our first visit during my homestudy last year, in response to her question "What would you like to teach your daughter", I responded quickly with "how to make a good margarita". In hindsight, I suppose that answer could have ended my adoption journey rather quickly, but I was counting on her to have a good sense of humour, and she did not disappoint.

Our meeting yesterday did not quite get started as planned - the ever amenable Miss M of course had a sick day and was rather whiney for the entire hour, recovering, of course, fairly promptly after the meeting ended. But, I didn't drop her while I was under observation, so I suppose that counted for something.

Here is a picture of the lovely Miss M whilst feeling a little perkier, a few days ago.

And here she is, looking cool in her first sunglasses, courtesy of Nancy and Bob.

Still Showerin' in Vancouver

2008-06-29T22:52:00.000-07:00

Well, last Friday was shower #2, aka "the office". And what a show it was. We have 4 offices across the country, so it was video-conferenced. There was an agenda. I've never attended a shower that had an actual agenda before. There were kind words delivered by a few friends and colleagues in each office, a "celebrity adoption" powerpoint (you just know that every work shower is going to feature a powerpoint), a quiz on Ethiopia and - wait for it - a song from the Toronto office. Sadly, I don't have a recording (although that may be a blessing - hee hee - ok, ok, I'm sure y'all sounded great and it was just the quality of the video-conferencing equipment that brought you down). But, I do have the lyrics. I was going to include just a few verses, but frankly, the whole song was so awesome I just couldn't edit any of the verses out. So here it is, sung to John Denver's "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" (and, just as an aside, I am a wee bit alarmed that when matching me to a song, you chose country...)

"Life in Lotus land is kinda laid back
Ain't much a suave lawyer like me can't hack
But gettin' bored shoppin' for Prada slingbacks
Thank God I'm a mama now

A simple kind of life was never for me
Now raisin' me a family and workin' at "V"
Days are now filled with diapers n' doggies
Thank God I'm a mama now

When I got me a daughter I got me my dream
When she smiles at me, she's my little sunbeam
Don't ever ever want my old regime
Thank God I'm a mama now

Well I got me a house and got a baby
By the time the suns up she's in dress number three
Life ain't nothin' but loads of laundry
Thank God I'm a mama now

In just a few months I'll be back full tilt
For now by eight I start to wilt
Amazin' how much milk a child can spill
Thank God I'm a mama now

When I got me a daughter I got me my dream
When she smiles at me, she's my little sunbeam
Don't ever ever want my old regimeeeee
Thank God I'm a mama now

Miss drivin' my Mer-ce-des rag top
And ridin' my bike to Whistler nonstop
But I found a lot of cute kid shops
Thank God I'm a mama now

When the works all done and I've thrown in the towel
I pull out my bottle of Burrowing Owl
Makeda's asleep and I'm prayin' for no howls
Thank God I'm a mama now"

Thank-you all so much for the great party. I did my best to suss out the main culprits, but I'm sure I've missed some. Thanks El, Jim, Ungad, Joseph, Deanna and everyone else who wrote the fantastic lyrics, Delilah for the celeb powerpoint, Kev, Ungad, Joanne, Mani and Sylvain for the kind words and Jen and Erin for generally organizing and doing invites. If I've missed anyone, please help me do a shout-out to them.

Last but not least, this was a "no gift" shower as the Vancouver office had already showered me with 5 duffel bags of goodies for Makeda's orphanage. I couldn't canvas any of the other offices for contributions 'cause I knew I'd never be able to carry it. BUT, the Montreal office got ahold of the orphanage "wishlist" and did another big shop for me. The spoils were all piled on their boardroom table and they're even taking care of delivery. Merci Montreal - you rock!!

Love you guys (I'd say I miss you but let's face it, I'm either on a call or email with most of you most weeks anyway, and plus it's really hard to miss anyone when I'm out under the sun in 25 degree weather at a park with my baybee.) See you all way, way, way too soon.

Pass Me My Wine

Makedaversary and Good-Bye

A View of Current Circumstances in Ethiopian Adoptions

Back in the Day, I was a Cool Mom

I Climbed the Great Wall of China

Bon Voyage

What's New and Exciting

It's Report Card Time!

Will It Never Stop?

Belated Olympic Glory

Are We Done Yet?

This is What Makes Me Happy

I Love This Man!

Fever

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

Twists and Braids for Idiots

A Nifty Way to Avoid Jail

We're Number...

Well, Not Right Away

Christmas Eve with the Ethio Crew

Lucky Number 7

Some Very Merry Christmas News

A Bumpy Start to the Season

Ethiopian Book Club

More Belated Posting

My Little Monster

A Fairy Tale

Blue Steel

Failure is Not an Option

A Day in the Life of...

Just Call Me Dora...

The Plan

Vaykay

Progress, on More Than One Level

Heartbreaker

Adoption Playgroup Posse

We have a diagnosis!!

Hey It's Me Staring Back at Me

Show Me the Money

Update from BC Government

Proof of Claim Form: Some Help and a Disclaimer

An Update, Such As It Is

Imagine Adoption Update

Quintessential M

Expensive Souvenirs

Stirring the Pot.... and Keep Stirring

Worst Day Ever

Notice Anything New?!?

Crappy Croup Update

Makedaversary Part Deux

IAMASLUT Part Deux

IAMASLUT Inaugural Convention

New Party Trick

Happy Makedaversary! Without the Bells and Whistles

Happy Belated Birthmother's Day Fozia

You Know I Don't Like to Brag But...

Countdown...

Because I Don't Have Enuf On My Plate, That's Why

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Watch Me in Action - New and Brilliant Dating Tactics

Little Sista Update

How to Make Friends and Influence Regulators

Silly Pet Tricks

Croup Be Gone

Breaking the Bank

New York City on a Shoestring Budget

Math Sucks

I've Got the Golden Ticket

Belated Christmas Pics

You WILL Pay Attention to Me. I Am Your Mother.

I Had a Dream

Oh the Shame

I Never Thought It'd Be THIS Bad!

What's in a Name

And Time Goes By...

Look Who's One!!

Damn Yankees - Don't Screw it up This Time!

Tattoos and Other Insects

Don't Mess With Gramma

Pay Attention PAPs!